i just moved away from home, a couple of months ago, and i knew i would be staring down at precarity all the way, for i do not have a 'steady' paying job, a 9 to 5. i was privileged enough to stay unemployed (and comfortable) for a little bit, but then, eventually i had to figure out a way to earn just enough to fuel things i enjoy doing – i write, make films, read, meet new people, all of that. i work a couple of very mild jobs (as in jobs that do not enforce any managerial subjectivity onto you), some legal, others not so much, also i had saved up a little prior to moving; what i did not prepare for is the psychological toll of constantly facing precarity, always being surrounded by this particular logic relating to money (where one has to be shrewd about how much they are owed, they owe), and having so much of my life given away towards working these jobs to stay afloat. i am not drowning as of now, not yet at least, but this elaborate balancing act of resisting work as much as possible, but also managing somehow to pay rent and other bills, all the while not giving up on my pursuit of a life beyond work, all of it just becomes too much at times. i know for a fact if i manage my expenses better, refrain from going out and taking part in events every now and then, i can stabilize much better, but will it be any different really? i really need to make better friends who understand this life, and what i mean when i say i fucking hate work. in the meanwhile, i would love to get to know the people over here, i could use some soiidarity.