I work for a small tech startup, making training simulations. I've been with this company for nearly two years and I feel like it's eating me alive.
I get 80 hours of PTO, 80 hours of sick leave, 40 hours of personal time off, and 10 holidays a year. I also have half days on Fridays. I work from home so there's no commute time and no need to buy gasoline. I know a lot of people would kill for this job, but I feel like I'm dying.
I'm too tired after work to do anything. I feel like I'm getting dumber because all my brain power is dedicated to work. My hobbies have fallen by the wayside. My knees and back have a hard time with all the standing/sitting in the same spot, and I've had to go to physical therapy to try and mitigate the pain. My eyes burn after a day spent staring at a computer. My mental health is in the worst condition it's ever been.
Before I had a project manager, the CEO was way too involved in the day to day and he was constantly down my throat, blaming me for things that weren't my fault, questioning my work ethic, etc. It was awful for my anxiety, though it's a lot better now that I have a project manager that I get along with, but the amount of work I have to do has also ramped up significantly. We only have two designers, and the other designer has taken it upon himself to work late hours and weekends (despite no one telling him to do so) because he's so stressed about deadlines and the sheer amount of work we have. We have so much work that my work schedule is tightly controlled until June, which makes me feel like I can't even take time off. I've told my project manager about how my mental health has taken a hit, and while he's very sympathetic, he says we'll probably be forced to do overtime in the coming weeks.
The company hasn't hired a third designer despite us asking for one constantly, but they hired two salespeople to get us even more work.
I don't know how to navigate this. I know the CEO wouldn't be sympathetic so I haven't spoken to him (he's a bit of a bully and he scares me). I'm scared of quitting, because the leadership has this weird idea of employee ownership (they see us as an investment into the company) and it would leave the other designer and my project manager in a really rough spot.
I can't do this for another year, let alone five or so. I'm just so tired.