For context and I don’t know if this contributes to anything, but my dad is a very successful CEO – he was brought up working class but now a millionaire after lots of sacrifice and hard work. My mum was a Stay at home mum and now works 2 days. They’re divorced.
My brother has a successful career as do my step siblings. My step sister works 5 days with 2 young kids.. and wants to further her career!
Me however… I work because I have to. I have ZERO desire to work. I have a 6 month old and if I won a million dollars tomorrow I’d quit and spend my days with him. But I feel a crippling guilt for even feeling this way.
I just got a job part time, my boss is lovely and supportive and wants to develop me and give me opportunities, but I literally have no desire. She asks me where I want to go and inside my head I’m thinking I don’t want to I don’t want to work harder I don’t care!
When I leave work, everyone is still there and I feel guilty leaving. I feel a lot of pressure to succeed without the motivation. I just want to go, do my job and leave. I work in HR (ironically) so in a sense I feel like I can’t switch off there will always be emails I haven’t answered, tasks not complete and this ALSO gives me anxiety… I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I feel so much guilt over my desire to do nothing. I spend my days off worrying about going to work. Is this normal? Any advice? Or I’m just a lazy bastard dunno probs..