Hi, everyone, sorry if maybe it's not the correct place to post, but I'm lost and confused. I got my dream job under the biggest role model of my work industry after three months of taking a course under their guidance.
My then teacher/now boss is aware of my skills as well as my flaws. As well as I've been of theirs. Their little flaws include working extra hours (I happily accept, part of the job), not being paid on time (I happily submit, part of their quirks) and them not having everything immaculately priced so I need to be phoning them for every single thing all the frigging time (I've tried to solve this by making a paper with the prices, but so far, they've decided to ignore this).
So, despite my enduring, either due to a whole month of late payment, the extra hours, and even 18 days straight without a free day, I have smiled, I have been extra polite, emphathetic, comprehensive and extremely eager to help. I'm also a new worker despite being close to my thirties, so I wanted to be easy to deal with. I thought everything would be okay but… it's not going too well.
I am highly inexperienced in my job. This and the fear that infunds me doing it wrong prevent me from learning fast and as efficient as they needed for the job. They are aware of this, and they've been patient when things are NOT under pressure. But I've been informed recently that I must do a certain task for my job for a special VIP customer that requires much, much, much more skill from what I posses, as well as time needed to complete. I am unable to do this task, yet I must alone by myself with no help, which means, customers will be unhappy (I also feel bad for them, since it's not their fault). I've been a good bootlicker and openly expressed my concerns to my boss – I have been ignored and even got a “what do I even pay you for?” comment.
So, what did I exactly fail at? Was I not exploitable enough? I am borderline in illegal working hours and yet I am desperate to make it because I do truly adore my work.
I know most stories have two sides, and I'm sure theirs matter as well. But gods, do I feel incredibly shitty now. And time keeps ticking. What even should I do, besides preparing as best as I can.