The title is a pretty simple take we can all agree on, but I thought I’d post a little sanity check. I started a new job recently. Before getting to the new job, a little about my work history:
My first job was in my university’s research center. I was doing “telephone surveys” where I’d basically cold call Medicare beneficiaries (mostly old widows) all day long, and ask them basic questions like “how many meals a day do you eat?” — every single call was another sob story about how their grandkids didn’t call anymore, or about how they were sometimes lucky to afford TWO meals a day. I was fired for “not sticking to the script” when I felt bad for one lady who just needed someone to talk to.
After that, it was a string of hospitality, retail and IT jobs, with one bad manager after another. I’ve had managers purposefully understaff (I was the only overnight employee in a 200+ room hotel, meaning I had to run the front desk, the kitchen, housekeeping, etc); managers lie about / threaten to fire me over workplace injuries; a manager’s wife once confessed about how he abuses her and the kids and confessed her love to me, asking me to elope.
Throughout most of this, I was in the Army reserves, which had the most toxic leadership of them all (but that’s a story for another post).
I recently started a job at our local ski resort. My supervisor and his boss are both great people who are very engaged in the business, but also highly respectful of free time and life outside of work. The other day, I took an extra long lunch break to hit some of the trails (something highly encouraged by management so we understand the terrain better). When I accepted this job, I told them I’d need three weeks off within the first month due to prior commitments — no questions asked, it was approved (and I’ll get paid through my vacation and sick time, which doesn’t roll over but gets refreshed the week after I return with the new fiscal year). The pay and benefits are great. My supervisor came to me the other day and asked if I wanted to stay late, since I might not make a full 40 hours this week. I told him my free time was more valuable, and he agreed (he just wanted to offer more hours in case I wanted to pad my paycheck).
It amazes me how my own thought patterns and feelings towards management roles has been shaped by these poor experiences in the past, and it honestly knocks me off guard any time I react with my current management and actually receive the desired outcome. I’ve had PTSD from a severe accident / physical trauma in the past, and it’s astounding how similar the thought patterns / feelings / self doubt is.
TL;DR – Mental / emotional trauma is still trauma, and a decade of toxic leadership can cause PTSD-like symptoms. It amazes me this isn’t talked about more.