A month ago I quit my job of 3 years, I couldn't take it anymore I was waking up going to work to do the same exhausting work then come home to fall asleep right away and repeat. This process was slowly driving me insane, my mood was horrible I was lashing out to everyone every chance I could and I regularly thought about suicide though out every day I worked. I've saved up $5000 and decided I was going to quit and live with my parents for how ever long it took me to feel better, but unknowingly this was the worst decision of my life. I quit, didn't show up and didn't tell anyone, couldn't give a fuck to but on that same day my parents instantly told me I should be looking for a new job, and now for the past month everyday I get harassed about finding a job and how I'm living off my parents (even though I pay rent and have enough money to keep doing so) and I'm tired of it. My mental problems have never gone away and I think about killing myself daily still.
Is all there is to life working? The idea of getting a new job makes me sick. The only way out is suicide, I've given up on my dreams and aspersions due to not having any motivation or talent anymore. I'm not going to be here for much longer but I just wanted to ask: What's the point of getting a job and paying for a house you don't own and are not allowed to be in for 40 hours of a week? Why is this the thing I should be achieving? Why is throwing my life away for nothing so great? I want to live I want to thrive I have dreams I want to complete but why is that all thrown away so I can be some mindless slave? Life is honestly so meaningless I thought when I was a kid adult life would be so freeing but I'm more trapped and mentally ill then ever. What's the reason for all this shit?