Lately been talking to my gf for taking the relationship to next step: Marriage. Thing is she'll only want it if I start to put some more iniciative in my life (this due to depression and anxiety disorders).
So I've done a lot of thinking about getting a job soon when I get my legal documents. The thing is that idk if I'm ready or even prepared to live a life of purely work. Don't know if I'm ready to work 8-10 hours a day, return home tired just to prepare food for the next day and then go to sleep and repeat the cicle. Don't know if I'm prepared to “enjoy” my hobbies tired af with almost no concentration on what am I doing due to tiredness. Don't know if I'm ready to only have Sundays to be with her bc i can't sacrifice that day by playing games or else instead of sharing the only day I have in common with my gf.
Today we talked about it and i just cried.
Have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and i hope it gives me some perspective between all my shitty pessimism