I'm in kind of an AITA situation, mostly because I've probably been sufficiently gaslight. So I just started a new job after work from home for a few years. I came back to find my fibromyalgia is worst than ever and sitting in any office chair, at least the ones in my office, causes intense pain that is obvious about 10 minutes. At the end of the day, I feel like I have a shoulder injury and sometimes intense migraines.
The office culture is such that a lot of higher ups work remote except for a program director (not even my direct boss but a higher up) who works in a cubicle across the office building. No one ever saw me at work. So I wondered if anyone even cared and switched back to home because of my pain. I'm an extremely diligent employee, probably a workaholic due to a fucked up childhood, do I was working all my hours and not really slacking off.
Well I got a call to come back from the one in office person. I ended up telling her that I have fibro and wondering aloud if I should get a medical note to cover me. I told her that the chairs in the office give me intense pain and migraines after about 10 minutes. She didn't have anything to say about that, except that she has migraines and sucks it up by doing something or other. I offered to get a chair for myself, and she said that was a great idea and no offer for office to pay.
I ended up spending close to $600 on this chair because I can't not be in the kind of pain I am in and not want to die. She has asked me regularly about the chair, I say it's fine because it is, but then she scheduled a meeting (no even real purpose, could have been an email) at her desk. I was in horrible pain that day and next.
I don't want to see like an asshole and undermine her, just not that kind of person, actually trying to work on my relationships with other people, ngl I can be kind of arrogant and self-centered. But I finally decided I can't let this go on and this weekend drafted an email to her (sending tomorrow AM) saying she can only meet virtually with me from our desks from here forward and that I won't talk to her further about it except our boss and HR. Now I'm really worried about our relationship and if she is going to retaliate in any way, even if it's just now things are awkward and I am an anxious person. I don't really have another option for a job, the boss on this is actually someone who can make a big difference for me and so far he is pleased with my work. But I know people can be weird about if other leaders in their teams dont like others.
Any thoughts? I am not sure how she is going to receive it but I cannot allow this to go on. I hate the culture where the lower level employees are always wrong and have to sacrifice everything. I resent that I even have to be the solution to my own problem when reasonably this is something she should have handled as a leader. I have other problems with her too but this is the biggest issue.