Employment contract doublespeak is doubleplus good

I've got an employment contract in front of me. It says, you must give us two weeks notice if you want to end the contract, otherwise you need to pay us. We'll give you two weeks notice if we need to end the contract, otherwise we'll pay you. Unless… A commercial negotiation between two companies you don't work for, and have no control over, and have no visibility into, end their contract between them. Or… If in our opinion… . Then, we can end it with no notice. Hah! Gotcha! ​ Doublespeak… It's doubeplus good. Who comes up with this shit?! No wonder people don't want to work. ​ Edit: Grammar.