I thought I did the smart thing; I finished high school so I could go to college, worked hard and showed up on time every day and put on a smile, went into enormous debt for a good education, and saved my money while not spending time on drugs or men or booze.
It didn’t work.
So then, I tried the risky thing: I invested, got a passport, moved a bunch to buff up my worldliness and languages, and talked up myself.
It didn’t work.
Then I understood just how little of anything worked.
Exhausted, I tried the lazy thing: be attractive, agreeable and well spoken enough to marry into money.
That worked. It worked really, really well.
Inside every so-called “gold digger” is an overworked, underpaid, over-leveraged person who desperately needed an out from the mundane horror of never ending, every day capitalism … and took it. Because god knows I didn’t survive the foster care system or my parents just to serve some fucking boomer a well done hamburger. I survived it to get good teeth, sushi and Pomeranians, and to fuck shit I hate up.
Having who or what you love isn’t the same as having long term security and the consequences of your younger choices later in life. But now that I’m doing better than just surviving, of course I just want more. Not only for myself, but for everyone.
I want everyone to have security and love. I want everyone to have good teeth, sushi, and Pomeranians. I want everyone to have a shower whenever they want and to do laundry without thinking of the cost. I want everyone to get their nails done each week. I want everyone to call DoorDash and order a fucking steak, I want DoorDash workers to call another DoorDash worker and get a fucking steak. I ask for nothing that isn’t possible.
I want more for everyone and everything because I know just how how much it costs to make people live with less. The real insult is how we as a society ask the poor to be thankful for the leftovers.
Pride is a lie, the only real war is the class war and how you choose to fight it is important. But never at the expense of your own quality of life and never at the cost of others.
Do what you can to get out of work, and never feel sorry for it for a moment. I didn’t.