Categories
Antiwork

Had to quit job because my dad needed me as a caregiver and my employer wouldn’t let me continue to work remotely

This is a long, complicated story but basically I had a mental health crisis earlier this year, so I took a leave of absence from work. My position was one of trust, basically I ran the entire business and supervised employees on weekends, so my hard work and fantastic reviews meant that I received a lot of “take the time, get better!” from higher-ups. Unfortunately, one week after my leave began, my father had to go to the hospital. He has been in and out of the hospital for months, all dealing with a new diagnosis of MS (apparently it is late onset MS? He is in his early 70's) and recurrent UTI's (he has a chronic Foley catheter, also a new diagnosis and condition). I received proper care for my mental health and I was set to return to work in late Spring, however HR insisted that I MUST…


This is a long, complicated story but basically I had a mental health crisis earlier this year, so I took a leave of absence from work. My position was one of trust, basically I ran the entire business and supervised employees on weekends, so my hard work and fantastic reviews meant that I received a lot of “take the time, get better!” from higher-ups.

Unfortunately, one week after my leave began, my father had to go to the hospital. He has been in and out of the hospital for months, all dealing with a new diagnosis of MS (apparently it is late onset MS? He is in his early 70's) and recurrent UTI's (he has a chronic Foley catheter, also a new diagnosis and condition).

I received proper care for my mental health and I was set to return to work in late Spring, however HR insisted that I MUST be in the office on Saturdays and Sundays. The only people in the entire building on weekends were me and my team of less than 10 people. There was no “culture” to be built there, no corporate events or “teambuilding” that we would have missed out on by working remotely. I kept the business working on weekends throughout 2020 and 2021 via remote work. We held up our end and then some.

HR insisted that “some customers felt that working remotely was hurting our handling of their business”. No explanation of who, no explanation of what was wrong so that we could address it and fix it. The only result was a hybrid schedule. I could have been home, taken care of my dad on breaks from work, and still handled their weekends for them. It would have been a win for everyone, but HR insisted that I couldn't work remotely full-time.

I couldn't do it. The stress of it all led to a brief psychotic break ahead of my return to work date. How would we get by? What would Dad do on weekends (I do nearly everything for him, and yea that too and even that)? What if Dad has an issue in the morning and I am stuck in the office for 8 more hours?

I quit my job. I threw away a career of over 10 years, the last 4 of which were in that position of trust on weekends, making the most money I have ever made, to care for my dad. All because my employer, despite my incredible ability to handle everything on weekends so that everyone else could enjoy their lives, insisted that I had to be in the office.

I don't regret the choice that I made. Helping my dad feels great, though of course neither of us wish that I had to be doing this. I may even become a professional caregiver if my dad gets better and doesn't need me.

But I'll never give my all to another company. Most of the posts on here are about entry level work and how individuals are exploited and unappreciated. I hope my story makes you realize it happens in management too.

TLDR: I had mental health leave, Dad got sick a week later and needs me to caregive, work says I can't work remotely anymore, I quit and threw away my career.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.