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Antiwork

How do I make it clear I don’t want to participate in birthday culture?

I come to work to get a paycheck and leave. I'm not unfriendly at work, but these people are my co-workers and I don't need more friends. I work in a small-ish department (7 other people) and for whatever ungodly reason, they've all decided that we need to be involved in each other's birthdays. I'm a woman, and my other female co-worker has roped me into helping with birthday planning every time it's someone's birthday, and I suspect it's for the disappointing reason that I'm a woman, so I must be good at it. I am not, lol. Every time it's someone's birthday, someone has to go out, buy donuts or cupcakes, throw money into a pot for flowers or a gift, set it all up and it's all over in 5 minutes. It's a nice gesture for people who want to contribute, but I'm expected to participate every time…


I come to work to get a paycheck and leave. I'm not unfriendly at work, but these people are my co-workers and I don't need more friends.

I work in a small-ish department (7 other people) and for whatever ungodly reason, they've all decided that we need to be involved in each other's birthdays. I'm a woman, and my other female co-worker has roped me into helping with birthday planning every time it's someone's birthday, and I suspect it's for the disappointing reason that I'm a woman, so I must be good at it. I am not, lol.

Every time it's someone's birthday, someone has to go out, buy donuts or cupcakes, throw money into a pot for flowers or a gift, set it all up and it's all over in 5 minutes. It's a nice gesture for people who want to contribute, but I'm expected to participate every time and at minimum it's $35/year for co-workers I don't even know that well.

I took my personal day on my birthday, made it known I was not celebrating my birthday in office, and they still did something for me the next week. This isn't about me wanting to get something for my birthday and not participate in others', I just don't want to have to pretend I care about someone's birthday 7 times a year and spend money on something just to save face. Finances are low and I'm barely making it as it is.

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