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Antiwork

How to Resign When You Care But Also Don’t?

Welp. I need help. I have been with the same small business for over 8 years and leadership has grown extremely dependent on me to make the business function. I know all the secrets. I know where the bodies are buried. Two years ago, they asked me if I would be interested in being maneuvered to eventually take over the company when they retire in the next 10 years and at the time, “yes” was the right answer. Unfortunately, in that time, it's become abundantly clear that the source of the organization's dysfunction is a lack of leadership and management. The final straw was reemploying someone who quit a year ago that caused dysfunction and made the working environment beyond impossible. That person's back and the environment we have struggled to heal is back in full force. My health has suffered. I'm not the parent I need to be without…


Welp. I need help. I have been with the same small business for over 8 years and leadership has grown extremely dependent on me to make the business function. I know all the secrets. I know where the bodies are buried. Two years ago, they asked me if I would be interested in being maneuvered to eventually take over the company when they retire in the next 10 years and at the time, “yes” was the right answer. Unfortunately, in that time, it's become abundantly clear that the source of the organization's dysfunction is a lack of leadership and management. The final straw was reemploying someone who quit a year ago that caused dysfunction and made the working environment beyond impossible. That person's back and the environment we have struggled to heal is back in full force.

My health has suffered. I'm not the parent I need to be without the energy or time. I don't like who I have to become to be successful. I spent the majority of my 20s at this company and while I know they care about me as a person, that only extends in so far as I'm the person who they know they can give anything to and it'll get done.

About a year ago, the writing showed up on the wall and I stuck it out because I know when I leave they'll be up a creek, sans paddles. But I can't do this another year. (It's an industry that has cycles… If I'm still here when the next cycle begins, I'll be stuck for another year.) I'm on my second round of interviews with a few companies and while I'm excited to start fresh, it dawned on me today that I'll have to actually, like, quit at some point. I've seen the tables turn where someone will give notice and they immediately cut access to systems or get iced out. (Which, if they do that in my case, that's fine, but at their own detriment. I do too much that no one else does.)

So… how do I do this? I'm not planning on giving more than 2 weeks. But I'm torn between short and sweet vs. personal and honest about what's going on and why I'm leaving. They've done a lot for me and the good times are really, really good, but if I don't choose myself now, I'm afraid I never will be able to. If I leave, it'll cause a ripple affect that will negatively impact every aspect of their business, but I can't do this kind of burn out, frustration, and chaos another year. Any tips? Any resignation templates to share? Anything to avoid when leaving the “we're a family” kind of business?

TL;DR- company owners are good humans but terrible business people. How to resign without being as asshole when they'll be left with a massive vacuum where my desk used to be?

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