Throwaway account because of reasons. I'm not entirely sure whether this is relevant here, but I've been lurking for a while and feel a lot of my concerns reflected here.
So, here's the lowdown.
I (26F) live with my (28M) partner in an EU country neither of us are native to. He has full working rights, being a national of another member state. I'm a non-EU national, pursuing my second Master's degree and working part-time, as that's the extent of what I'm legally allowed to do.
I'm incredibly privileged in that my parents were willing to partially fund my move to the EU three years ago. My previous Masters' tuition was funded by scholarship, and this second one is being paid by the company I work for, who otherwise pays me 400.- a month. My parents cover our groceries for the month, and I live with my partner rent-free. I'm passionate about my job and easily put in 30+ hours per week on top of my academic schedule. Aside from being a little bit of a workaholic, I live a healthy lifestyle and have a healthy relationship. We don't want children, ever, so there's no pressure there either.
Sounds great, right? I am grateful, of course, for what I have. In general, I would describe myself as ambitious and have a clear idea of what I want out of a career.
But there's a part of me that is convinced that things will never get better.
It kills me that I'm still using my parents' money at 26 to pay for groceries rather than contributing to their lives. It kills me that my partner often covers the cost of our (few) leisure activities. It kills me that even though he is paid well (thanks to his government), we realised too late that his boss and his landlord are friends and charge us through our ass for rent. It kills me that I have to cough up hundreds of euros every year to cover residence permits and (compulsory) health insurance. It kills me that I'm underpaid when my boss takes 3+ ski trips a year, and that I can't say anything about it because they pay for my education. It kills me that I have zero real professional or life prospects in my home country, but that my ability to have these prospects in the EU relies on my partner marrying me. It kills me to see other people my age from my home country who chose financial sector careers making good money and being independent. It kills me that I have started to expect/realise that until I gain full working rights through marriage, I will never be gainfully employed in my chosen sector. It kills me that I've grown to equate every moment of my time to the likelihood of having a future. It kills me to watch the politics of my chosen home unfold in a way that is ever increasingly screwing over my generation's ability to be stable economically. It kills me to know that even when (it's confirmed) we do get married, there's no guarantee that we won't both continue to be screwed over by employers, or by government policies, or by everything else.
There's a part of me that believes that at 35, I'll still be an intern living off my parents' and partner's money.
I'm not usually a pessimistic person. But all of this is just breaking me, and I don't know how to convince myself otherwise.