I went to school and took time off so I have been in the running for a Secondary Education degree coming this fall. However, despite not being eligible for the stimulus checks, I was an essential minimum wage employee who got exploited for overtime work like everyone else. Though my panic led me to save enough to feel good, items I once paid a dollar for became $3 and my savings started to make less hope for me with the rise of inflation. Due to being worked to not only try to afford life, but to keep a job because I was not seeing that unemployment benefit and was not willing to take it from someone who might need it more if I still had a job.
However, now I am about to start teaching, fully aware I can not afford to get out of my abusive household and contemplating suicide instead of facing realty. Now i also struggle with CPTSD, and have been denied many support and services due to insurance(so helpful right?) and I have looked into moving to other countries already due to not being able to afford proper treatment from years of SA and abuse. I have contemplated making a site to sell photos of myself to secure myself in America but I would also be throwing away my dream for security. I also wonder if my career was worth it because I will be in poverty just trying to help people who are just angry at me for making them feel discomfort within learning something new.
The school systems I have worked with (currently elementary ed) are also very under accepting of struggle, because they are all extremely depressed and burnt out. Teachers are being told they are worthless and shouldn't have become one because they have to do so much more to help children whose parents neglect their studies if they have to quarantine or they are just burnt themselves. Teachers are starting to lack that consideration for their coworkers unless they face a loss in their family that makes them allowed to be sad. I started self harming again, and these children have often said they wanted to be like me when they grow up but I dont want to be alive. I went to a local college, did all I could to be happy, financially smart and secure and it wasn't enough. I dont want them to end up like me, I am scared for them, not just myself but everyone who cant live anymore. There is a generation of us and if I get told one more time Biden is going to “help” college tuition I will not hesitate to blow a raspberry at them.
Sorry for the rant this is just a crisis I am facing and I am sure a lot of other Americans within the U.S. (im highly sure others as well) can relate to and hold fears over.