I want to quit so bad. I work the next 9 days in a row, I have been here almost a year, I've moved up twice and I FUCKING hate it. It's a horrible company, horrible job, I hate selling animals to people I know are shit human beings, I hate watching people bring in abused, neglected dogs to be groomed and me not being able to say anything or do anything, I hate having to put 7 full grown Syrian hamsters in a tiny fucking glass prison with barely enough bedding to walk on because that's the way corporate wants it. I'm sick of watching psycho children come in with dead animals that they've hurt and killed and I have to replace it because I couldn't possibly know what actually happened to that guinea pig (bitch, it's ribs are broken, and it's eye is missing, they tortured it). I am sick of Petsmart, sick of petty bullshit at work, sick of employees not doing their job and me being expected to pick up the slack. I am sick of selling shock collars and choker chains to people for puppies. I am sick of people telling me they neutered their dog with a rubber band and I am to smile and help direct them to dog aspirin for the pain. I am sick of all of it. I am DESPERATE to quit but I just won't let myself. I tell myself I make more money here than I'll make anywhere else, I am literally selling my morals and mental health for money from a company I DESPISE and it is killing me inside, and yet here I am getting ready to go to work because I don't have the balls to quit. How I do break out of this “work hard for anything they'll give you and respect your job” mentality that has been beaten into me? I hate this place, I hate my job, I cry almost daily because I am literally selling myself out for a paycheck at the end of the week. I have to live with the knowledge that I have watched animals die and suffer, I have been treated like shit by the company and customers, and yet I keep going back to get kicked again. I feel like I can't leave anytime soon because they need me, why do I care? I don't know. I just do. Inventory week is upon us and I woke up instantly filled with dread and anxiety, told myself I wasn't going in today, fuck them, I'd block their numbers and just never go back, but I can't. I won't let myself, I fear the social backlash from friends and family for giving up a good paying job, I fear the YEARS of shit talking they'll do at work (they still talk shit about someone from 10 FUCKING YEARS AGO that quit when the “going got tough”). These people are willing to physically and mentally break themselves for money (they'll laugh and say, “Yea I had food poisoning and came to work anyways, I had covid and came to work, I pulled a muscle in my back and could barely walk and came to work”) and I always thought I wasn't like that, I wasn't going to be one of those idiots who killed themselves for $500 but I'll be damned if I'm not.
I just don't know where to go from here. How do I just nut-up and quit??