I'm writing these lines on my telework time because i'm asking myself some questions.
Since my 18 yo and my first job in a factory, i've always despised the world of work. It only took me a week to motivate me to study during 5 years.
I graduated with a Master's Degree 5-6 months ago. I were the kind of student who worked more than the others, because I really didn't want to have a job that I hate, and also I love to learn about everything. It was generally interesting. But it was hard mentally. Studies are engaging, and when i weren't studying, I felt guilty in my free time. So everything I wanted was a job that suits me without being exciting, and to have time aside.
And today I have that. 35 hours a week (thanks France), a job in an office. I can even say that my job is interesting and rewarding. But I still despite the world of work. I'm going crazy when I see people 1 or 2 more hours everyday for free, when this coworker in vacation answer a mail in 5 minutes. I hate those looks when i leave at 5pm and not a minute more. I have things to do, I have some passions, my life isn't work, but in the world of work, it's a pride to work more and more.
The result is, i'm not motivated. I do the bare minimum. I spend a lot of my time elaborating strategies to make my colleagues believe that I have a lot of work to do, while doing as little as possible (I could write a topic about these strategies if you are interested). I protect myself because my mental health is the most important thing. And they are happy with my job so I don't have to work a lot more atm.
But I've always been someone who doesn't do things by halves. Now that I have a job and I don't work for myself anymore, I just want to do as little as possible. On my telework time, if I can work an hour in the day, I do it. Because I hate the world of work. And because I don't find meaning in my work. It's interesting, but tbh, I don't foiond myself useful to the society. We just help e-commerces that already earns a lot of money to earn more money. What's the point ?
I'm 23, I have a job, I have enough time, my job suits me but i'm not really happy. I'm not unhappy but really, I find myself useless to the world and I hate the world of work.
Are there people in this situation ? Tips for getting out of this phase when we're a little lost but also in a comfortable situation that we don't really want to leave ?
Also sorry for my english, i'm french so there can be some faults.