TLDR: my physical health is deteriorating faster than sand through a strainer and i feel like i am constantly exploited with no avenue for help.
I am 27F and i have a connective tissue disorder and a slew of other health issues. I am very clear when i apply to jobs about them because i have learned from experience that my state (which is at will so they are not required to tell you why you have been “promoted to customer”) only will give you some sort of tiny aid if you have extensive and sometimes impossible to get documentation of every single tiny thing that you are allowed and not allowed to do.
I am constantly tired of being belittled, patronized, told that i am faking my conditions because i “don't look or act sick.” I am more tired of being yelled at, exploited and then subsequently dumped when i ask for the simplest accommodations (a chair?? extra time to finish???). And because my state allows you to be fired for any reason as long as you aren't told and they're not legally obligated to tell you (thus being able to fire you for a protected status because they didn't say that that was the reason), I am constantly under extreme pressure and always paranoid about every tiny expression anyone in power makes in my direction. Even so far as it severely impacting my work because I am terrified to be perceived by management as “useless as usual.” Even with “no retaliation policies,” in place, you are constantly expected to remove your boundaries set by yourself for nothing but your own sanity and health and, when you don't or protest too hard, you are immediately dropped in favor for someone else who doesn't mind being exploited–for less pay too. the following stories are all true and as neutral as I can explain them (though obviously i have a bias since its my own experience). Since I am not owed explanation on anything, I will never know if i was genuinely at fault or if i'm just gaslighting myself.
Once, I was hired by an insurance company for very skilled work for selling a mini fridge to the manager. she liked my personality and hired me for her division despite me telling her at the interview that i have 0 experience in the field but i was willing to learn. i was repeatedly denied when i asked to take supplemental night courses or seminars since I have never worked in the industry before and was having a hard time grasping something in 4 weeks that took my coworkers 4 years to earn a degree in. i was terminated for “not performing my job at my peer's level.” they even forced me to leave a bottle (that was a collector's item i got in japan) full of milk, a tub of yogurt, very ripe fruit and a tuna sandwich on my desk before calling me from the security office to let me know i can come pick it up a week later. they gave me all the food mixed in the box of my belongings. none of it was refrigerated for the entire week.
I was mandated by a former company to go get an occupational health assessment for HR because my “continued performance was under baseline” when they would repeatedly put me in roles i continually told them that I was unable to do (or able to but it would take me longer because i needed to be careful that my knees and other joints didnt literally dislocate out of their sockets or tear my ligaments over the slightest overextension, which happens often at work.) Of course this was not paid for. Of course i was making a pitiful wage. Of course i was constantly berated and screamed at and eye-rolled at and told i was being histrionic and dramatic and how i am “too young to be this useless” (yes. i was told this many, many, many times.) to the point where i was literally wellness-checked by law enforcement during my shift at work because i was at my breaking point and casually mentioned that “this is a reason people kill themselves.” I was not hysteric. it was a casual (though heated) statement to the store manager during a meeting i called with her about the abuse the managers were putting me through.
I was at another job where i was promoted 4 times in 6 months due to my 'outstanding performance' but the moment they promoted me to my last position, they required me to do my old position at the same time. of course this new promotion was more physically laborious than my other desk job, but it was something i enjoyed, so i let management and HR know before accepting the promotion that I had physical limitations and that I would be willing to give my all but i wouldn't be able to do my old role as well as my new role because realistically it was a 2 person job. they told me it was no problem and that they were in the process of hiring me an assistant anyways because they knew it was a lot to ask. I asked them, since my health was flaring very badly at the time if i could leave once a week 20 minutes before my normal shift end to go to my doctor's appointments to catch it before it gets worse, and that i would have all my work completed before leaving of course. I was fired two weeks later with 0 warning, 0 discussions, 0 past disciplinary action and a stammered insistence that it was just “we are going in another direction” when i repeatedly asked if it was because my health because all of my work was ahead of schedule and i even had time to do extraneous design work for them, and completely do the CEO's wife's daughter's baby shower. during work. on the clock. This was two weeks after my promotion. As i carried my box of belongings from my office to my car immediately after being terminated, I was passed by a young girl on tour where the same HR woman (the CEO's wife, btw) passed by my office and was told that this would be where she would be working.
Some time after the above two jobs, I landed my dream job as a graphic designer. I have nearly 10 years of experience working as one and I was elated to finally be earning good money (18.50/hr, the most i have ever, to this day, have earned). At the beginning it was idyllic. i was finally able to work a job where i can pay back all the thousands i have racked up in credit card debt due to the pandemic and not having a paycheck from unemployment until 4 months later. I had no savings and no income because it was the height of 2020 lockdown and the only job i was offered was at a firm looking for a marketer/graphic designer of 7 years industry experience and a relevant 4 year degree… but they flatly offered $13/hr because it was “entry level and we are a small business.” a small business with a headquarters, a multi-million dollar real estate portfolio and hundreds of employees all over my region. of course i am a disgusting filthy leftist who wants to abuse the system and make $15/hr on unemployment instead of being a grateful little goat and do skilled labour that my $30,000 piece of fancy embossed paper tells me i have at least passing proficiency at.
My current job was recommended to me by a dear friend. She also has some health problems and told me her job was fantastic, low stress, low energy, pays well and had good benefits. Naively I immediately applied. I received the job at the interview. At the beginning it was wonderful and amazing. the work didnt need me to have special accommodations, i could work on my own projects during downtime at work and i was promised milage and a good payrate as i would be traveling around and filling in at sites that someone had called in for, needed vacation or otherwise were short-staffed. When i signed paperwork i was told pay would be determined on where i was placed (i wasnt supposed to be a flex in the beginning as it was a slightly higher position) so it wasn't on the agreement paperwork. big mistake. they told me they were promoting me to flex before even my first day and that i would be getting that milage and higher payrate (up about $5/hr from what i was supposed to start at.). The original site i was scheduled for was paying $12.50/hr and was a 45 minute drive from my house so I told them that was simply not possible. They agreed that it was rather extreme but assured me that milage and flex pay would be worth it. my first submission of milage was rejected on grounds that i was told a lie and that i would not receive milage compensation unless it was an hour or more drive. I was told 30 minutes. my manager told me thats what his understanding was and he would speak to corporate on my behalf. ah, and my pay would not be able to be increased until corporate approval was given. i just started receiving my new payrate a few weeks back but it was lower than promised. when i protested my manager agreed with me but corporate says that the previous manager's lies werent “their problem” and that I would be receiving the compensation i was given and no more. when my manager asked them for backpay (because i was rather frustrated and told him that i should get at least that because I have been working this position for months without the compensation associated with my rank) the corporate contact initially denied until my manager suggested that it may lead to me quitting when they were already desperately short-staffed. only then did corporate now consider doing backpay. but only for 45 days retrograde and not for the site i was originally slated to work at (the farthest site from my house and the one i had to fill in the most at because no one wanted to work there. wonder why) and that i would not be receiving milage compensation. I was rather annoyed and expressed my frustration to my manager (who is literally the best and he doesnt deserve this) my manager totally agrees with me and is actively fighting on my behalf but since i had nothing in writing (like a moron) i am rather stuck in the leverage department. The other day i had to sleep in the trunk of my car at one of the sites because they scheduled me to work until 10pm at the site 45 minutes from my house and then at 6am at a site 58 minutes from my house (so no compensation.) the sites were 20 minutes from each other. i asked if there was hotel accommodation (another perk i was offered) and i was told no because i was not traveling an hour from my house. The next day i was yelled at for not having training at the new site, despite all the information being in front of me, coming in early to receive a pass down and overview and the job quite literally having nothing to do nearly the entire day except watch cameras. I told my scheduling manager never to schedule me there again and he listened. A few days earlier i was pleaded with to take one overnight shift a month to help give someone a day off who hadn't had one in over a month. I agreed under the explicit understanding that it would only be once a month and only to help my coworker because she is moving and needs a day off. I was told it was understood because I was extremely adamant about not being scheduled 3rd shift because of my health issues. I feel like working 10pm to work again at 6am is already brutal and I refuse to worsen my conditions.
I woke up this morning to discovered i was scheduled a 12h overnight shift at a completely different location than I agreed to cover a rare overnight for. It's beginning again. it feels i can never escape this cycle. I have worked more than 25 different jobs in 10 years of being able to work. i'm reaching the end of my rope. I'm trying to get a $10k loan to jumpstart my retail store (i make loads of products and 10k would fully furnish, stock and futureproof it (i made an extremely comprehensive business plan/proposal)) but I am struggling securing one because being jobless for 5 months and living off credit is now hard to repay because i'm getting paid peanuts on the dollar. I am applying for grants but im scared the location i want will be taken by then…
perhaps i am useless but i am trying hard to refuse to give up. i just want to be healthy again. i want to be able to afford a good diet again. i want to have a livable quality of life. at this point i'm trying just to be able to afford an ambulatory wheelchair so i can be mobile on bad days. but i don't know how much longer i can live this way.