Just as the title says. Been on here a couple years and other likeminded subs.
I've always been a low energy person, even at my best. Growing up, this would occaisionally get me called “lazy” by family or teachers. But i just shrugged it off as it never really bothered me.
I have never cared about pure productivity. Ive always needed a concrete practical reason to do something. And if i can find a fundamental flaw or discover something to be wrong or exploitative. Than i reject it, simple as that.
Being forced to comply or walk the walk because society demands it. Conflicts with my very soul.
“Why don't you wanna go out and have fun”
Because i cant knowing any “fun” i have out in the capitalist world is happening at the expense of someone else. Some poor sod is forced to wait on me and take my order no matter what.
Which is why i prefer introverted activities for fun. Reading, writing, games, movies. Etc
Yes i know capitalism exists for those activities too. But to me, one less car on the highway, or one less ass in a chair in a restaurant is a good thing, and ill take what little pride i can in that.
“Why dont you wanna work more to live more comfortably?”
Because its a rigged uphill battle the whole way, and like i said, low energy, and i can see it for the scam it is. Corporate america can go F* itself. I do not care about their bottom line, nor do i have grand capitalistic ambitions to be the best i can be.
Im stuck on this rock with a bunch of brainwashed idiots screaming about whatever propaganda has been shoved in their faces by network news.
The moment i can find a means to live independently away from all this mess as much as i can. I will jump on it.
My biggest issue with all of the above however, is the strain it's put on my relationships with my friends and family. I dont follow societal norms when it comes to work and leisure. And they notice. They worry, and im worried if i disclose the full extent of my beliefs, they would think i'm mentally ill. Which if we are going by societal norms, I very may well be.
That one quote I always forget who said it, about how its no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society resonates deeply with me.
I dont really know what im looking for in this post. Its mostly a vent, but im alsp looking for advice in living with these ideals in a society that opposed to them. Sorry for the long post, thank you for reading.