I don't know if posting here is the best place to get an objective answer, but I got some news that made me feel like I fucked up. TLDR at the bottom.
I've recently been out of a job for several months and have been actively looking for a new one. I had a talk with one of parents and they let me know that to them, I am too unmotivated when working or looking for work (they were being nice about it). They cited an example at the first internship I got at a startup, largely because one of my relatives works there in a high position. My parent told me that when I was working there, I ended up making that relative look bad because I wasn't working as hard as I could have been. Apparently, I never asked for extra work and would be on my phone a lot which made them look bad because they referred me.This was a few years ago and they had told my parents all this at the time without really communicating any of it to me. My recollection of my time working there was always good though, I did my 40 hours a week and my manager never seemed to have any problems with me during our talks. I thought that I was doing a pretty good job and felt I was working outside of my daily tasks a lot of the time. I ended up being let go while another co-intern found their way into a permanent job. I was okay with this though, because I couldn't see myself working in that industry for the long run and never expressed interest anywhere else in the company. Now that I am out of a job and having no luck finding a new one, hearing this news has made me doubt my work ethic. I never felt like this affected my relationship with my relative either, but I feel terrible for letting them down and damaging their image.
I guess I'm just posting here for an outside perspective and to vent a bit. I just feel like such an ass for not trying harder and doing more work.
TLDR: Got referred into a job as an intern by my relative and a few years later found out I was seen as a slacker and damaged their image at the company. Now I feel like a big fat doo doo head.