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Antiwork

I feel like I need to doom myself

I just need to rant if that's okay. I'm 24, jobless, college educationless, and live at home, unlike my other 4 siblings who are on their ways to success. Fortunately, my parents are well off enough that I'm not a huge financial burden. Unfortunately, I got hit particularly hard with the mental illness hammer, and it's been affecting me severely since I was a toddler. I hope this doesn't come off as being spoiled, but I'm pretty miserable living my best life (it was much worse when I was in school), so knowing that I'll have to move out and get a job or go to college eventually has been extremely daunting. While I handle my mental illnesses a lot better than I used to, even doing things I like has a high chance of making me depressed/anxious/etc, so the prospect of being employed makes me extremely stressed, to the…


I just need to rant if that's okay. I'm 24, jobless, college educationless, and live at home, unlike my other 4 siblings who are on their ways to success. Fortunately, my parents are well off enough that I'm not a huge financial burden. Unfortunately, I got hit particularly hard with the mental illness hammer, and it's been affecting me severely since I was a toddler. I hope this doesn't come off as being spoiled, but I'm pretty miserable living my best life (it was much worse when I was in school), so knowing that I'll have to move out and get a job or go to college eventually has been extremely daunting. While I handle my mental illnesses a lot better than I used to, even doing things I like has a high chance of making me depressed/anxious/etc, so the prospect of being employed makes me extremely stressed, to the point where the thought alone triggered my focal seizures to go off for a week recently. I'm not even sure I can live on my own, but the societal shame of failure to launch combined with having to live with my… not great dad forever makes staying at home not seem like an option. I feel like “becoming an adult” would doom me, but I feel like I need to doom myself.

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