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Antiwork

I feel like I’m either doomed financially or in my happiness.

I have only had two experiences with work: I am working part-time (which is extremly important to me). Usually I love the culture and the coworkers. Life is balanced. I am happy. I make just enough to barely survive. or… -I am working full-time. Work culture is horrible. I am miserable and crying everyday and hate my job. But in this scenario I am always making exorbanately more money than I need. Like, thousands more per month than I need. I don't think it's about the kind of jobs I pick, for me the misery is mostly to do with being full-time. Before anyone says it, yes I am frugal. I do not own a car and bicycle everywhere (which I love!). I pay $100/year for my phone bill because I have a pay-as-you-go no data plan. No streaming services. No fancy trips. Just a few examples. I don't feel…


I have only had two experiences with work:

  1. I am working part-time (which is extremly important to me). Usually I love the culture and the coworkers. Life is balanced. I am happy. I make just enough to barely survive.

or…

-I am working full-time. Work culture is horrible. I am miserable and crying everyday and hate my job. But in this scenario I am always making exorbanately more money than I need. Like, thousands more per month than I need.

I don't think it's about the kind of jobs I pick, for me the misery is mostly to do with being full-time.

Before anyone says it, yes I am frugal. I do not own a car and bicycle everywhere (which I love!). I pay $100/year for my phone bill because I have a pay-as-you-go no data plan. No streaming services. No fancy trips. Just a few examples.
I don't feel like I could just work full-time for months and months and save up waiting to use that money in some other way because during I am so actively miserable I could die. I definietly do not believe in the 40 hour a week workweek unless you are working for yourself which is also part of why I don't want to resign to it is because when I work part-time I use a lot of my free time to work on becoming a contractor and making connections.

Essentially I have been working part-time for the past 3 years while developing my connections and it's slowly gaining traction but I need more time.

I feel desperate now though. My rent is about to be over double what it was one year ago because God Bless the Free Market. There is no longer anything remotely close to what I was paying before because they've all gone up so exorbinately while pay hasn't budged at all. I don't know what to do. I have been crying all morning.

I recently just got a great part-time job that I felt like was going to be perfect while I kept at my contractor goals and I don't know if it will work for me now anymore and do I need to start looking for full-time work? What's the point though because then I'm just throwing my dreams away so why go on at all?

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