Title pretty much says it all. Company let nearly 20% of us go without warning, effective immediately. We get a minor severance, but I’m spiraling. I was making over 90k with amazing benefits (tech pays well) doing a job that I’ll be lucky to find elsewhere for 45-50k.
I’m the breadwinner. I handle the mortgage, groceries, etc. I feel like I’ve let my family down. I know that’s not actually true. I know my company let me down, but it’s still so terrifying and upsetting when I felt like I FINALLY made it after scraping by for a decade trying to make it in my field—only to get laid off (on my birthday).
I hate this so much. I hate NEEDING to work. I hate that my health insurance is about to be taken from me (and my family). I hate that I wasn’t given any time to process the news. I hate that I have to go through the nauseating song and dance of cover letters, resumes, and bullshit interviews. I’ve already sent out so many applications today (probably not smart when the wound is still so raw).
I literally have no idea how to accept the fact that I’ll never make this kind of money again. I’m officially 33 today and I feel like I need to go back to school to get a degree in physical therapy and start over — but then I just think about the six figures of student loans I’d get buried under along the way — and I freak out all over again.
TLDR: I was laid off today and I’m pissed/heartbroken/numb and I don’t know what to do now. I feel guilty taking a few days to decompress and process what just happened to me.