As the title says, I got written up for “abusing downtime” or, as it was phrased to me, “spending a lot of time in the back when it’s not busy at all and taking pictures of the cats.” I am a bartender and server at a brewery that has cats; I am a very lonely guy who loves cats and they calm me down when I’m stressed. Other coworkers spend their downtime on their phones around what we call the “staff table” in one of the rooms in the restaurant. Managers spend a lot of downtime (on the clock) there on their phones, drinking sodas, and chatting with staff who are drinking and off the clock. There is a very prevalent clique there that I am not a part of but it includes management. They all hang out after work and go out drinking together. I see people slacking off and screwing around and vaping in the back both during downtime and while it’s busy. I never say anything because I don’t want to be that guy.
Now, I have been written up for the very thing that many staff members do constantly. The main difference is that I don’t hang out and drink with management outside of work. I don’t have I side jokes or anything with any of them. There is a very clear hypocrisy and blind spot when it comes to members of the staff that management are close to.
I work hard and do a good job, or so I thought, and I have tried and tried to be friends with coworkers but to no avail. I am lucky to have a very wonderful and understanding girlfriend but I don’t have a lot of friends outside of her.
This whole situation has just made me feel even more alienated and disliked. I think it’s time that I seriously stop working in this industry.
Why do we do this to each other? Why wouldn’t they just say something to me? I am more than approachable and I would do anything to be seen as a hard worker. I am so tired and so jaded. I feel like the many years in this industry have destroyed me. I am so sad and so angry.