I'm in my first year of university, and I needed money because I was running out, I live with some family friends for cheap rent but I still pay for all my own food and such. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention where I work, but it's a retail store that I assumed would be good to work for. I've worked as a cashier for a few months before, and I thought it was fine, better than I expected for a first job.
I've been here for 3 weeks and I honestly just want to die. Getting up at 5:30 AM to get there by 7:00 because it's 40 minutes away by train, stacking boxes for hours, constantly being expected to do things twice as fast even though I've only just started, my back and feet hurt after every single shift, everything is timed extremely strictly, we're expected to stack 50 boxes across the whole store in like 20 minutes, my managers have given me conflicting advice on how to do things, I've already cried twice in front of my manager because I already feel like a burden at my work for not being the best at everything immediately because they're required to give me 'feedback' which is usually essentially just 'you need to go faster'.
I've applied for another job but I need to try it out first and ensure that I'll be able to work there before quitting, and they've signed me on for 20 hours with of shifts next week and I have two assignments due on the same week and one quiz. My university doesn't have a system to allow for extensions based on conflicting workloads outside of university, luckily I'm going on the disability scheme, but I just don't understand how that wouldn't be a valid excuse or how anyone lives like this. I'm exhausted all the time, and even though I'm paid comparatively well to other supermarket chains I really don't feel like I'm paid enough. I still have barely any money, I have anxiety possibly related to OCD around cooking, so I buy premade meals.
I hope things get better, my new job at first glance seems nicer, but I have to go to another 7:00 AM shift tomorrow at my supermarket job and I'm just dreading it.
Does it get easier? Are there jobs out there that don't make you want to die and time you for everything and remove your confidence? I'm worried that I'm just too mentally ill to be able to live like this without burning out eventually, but maybe it's just that this job is terrible.