So I started a new job on Monday in an Accounts Receivable/Collections Agency.
For security and safety purposes, I will not be revealing who these people are.
So essentially this agency works on behalf of a few energy companies in Texas. I am way the fuck in Toronto. But this isn't really the reason why I'm here.
I have a disability. I had mentioned that to the person who is the closest thing that agency has to an HR person after I had been hired, as that is what most people who are able to mask their traits do. So I disclosed at the end of my second day of training that I mentioned that I have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and that I'm going to need accommodations and would be willing to provide them documentation of my disability accordingly. They told me that with my level of communications skills, I should excel in this company “despite my medical condition”. But the problem is, two days is absolutely nowhere near enough for me to be able to acclimate into an environment like this. I don't think anyone could. I left feeling extremely anxiety-ridden.
I contacted my social worker this morning, and explained to her that this is unacceptable and I need at least a week, possibly two weeks to learn absolutely everything needed to memorize every piece of information and acclimate to the program that we're going to be using. She mentioned that she would contact my supervisor, who was the stand-in HR person for the company. So she did. She said we would have a discussion about what could be done to accommodate me. So once I got in, we sat in a very stuffy training room, and I called her.
So we discussed what could be done in order to accommodate me, and what they said was that the company was only willing to give me one extra day, which was the 24th, to continue the training. The problem was, I was afraid that if I did not accept this, then they would simply say “Well, that's too bad, either you take these next 6 hours to learn, or you have no accommodations at all.” and I'd be shit out of luck. So unfortunately I accepted, and I know I shouldn't have but I felt like I had no other fucking choice. I was scared shitless. Dealing with people who deal with money an unbelievably scary thing to do, I would know. My father is a Property Accounting Manager.
Anyways, I don't know what the fuck to do because I'm scared shitless, because Collections is a whole other beast than say Customer Service Representative or any Call Center work because that's what I've mainly worked in the last few years. Some of the Collections protocol fucking terrifies me because if I don't say scripts verbatim, or input things wrong, the company could be held liable, and then it's my ass they'd be after. I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I feel like I'm unbelievably in over my head. I'm scared shitless.
What scares me more is if I quit, what the fuck do I tell my Dad? How do I just tell him that I quit after only two fucking days of being there. I'm scared he's going to legitimately hurt me if I quit. He's already financially abused me, taking all my computer savings ($5150) and most of my bank account money ($13,000) because he saw my room in a less than satisfactory state out of grieving for my grandfather that died and also executive dysfunction issues, but also because I hadn't looked for work since 2020.
I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. I really don't know. I kinda just wanna disappear and never come back. I don't know what in the fuck to do. I feel like I'm in over my head. I don't feel like I'm built for working. I don't feel like I'm built to exist in this cruel and disgusting ableist world.