You guys can see my profile for more posts with details on this, but…
Look, I am not the type that would usually be on this subreddit. Raised in a protestant household with good old fashioned work ethic taught to me from a young age. Regardless, I’m a naive little autistic mess in their first job, just happy they were wanted by society for once. But this call center is hell.
My parents keep invalidating me and saying I am just over emotional and unstable. (Who wouldn’t be handling calls from people begging you for help saving their homes or screaming at you over a 5$ fee all day?!)
At this point I hope I get sacked. My parents won’t let me quit until I pay off the car they bought me without my consent, which is really their car on their credit. If I can’t leave, then I want to be kicked out. Would it look awful on my resume? Sure, but it’d get me out of this orwellian nightmare.
Every second is monitored, numbers everywhere. Metrics, timers, scoreboards, all things that give me anxiety on top of the socializing factor. It has amazing pay and benefits to make up for it secretly being a verbal sweatshop.
My parents said all jobs would be like this level of misery, but… I wouldn’t mind at all working for 8 hours straight with no breaks on something that didn’t require me simultaneously having a conversation while doing it. My brain thrives on that kind of hyperfocus.
I feel bad not giving it my all at this job, because I prefer to try my best at everything I do… but I have had to give myself some time to recover between calls that messes with my “productivity metrics”. Tried getting an accommodation through HR but they said it was essentially me getting out of doing the job, and they’re kinda right?
I dunno. I wanna leave this office so bad. It hurts me emotionally to be constantly the one people are annoyed with. I’ve gotten emotionally unstable, but I’d argue its because of my job, not me not wanting to work. I was promised things I didn’t get from this position. No room for movement or advancement, no flexible schedules. I was told I’d be able to transfer to another department fast, but all the other departments are outside the state!
My parents want me to last 4 more checks, but I want out now. I’ll probably be fired anyway if I am so bad at it right…? I dunno, does anyone have advice on how to know better and not fall for this again? It’s hard to be picky when my parents want me to be desperate like they were at my age.
I can’t actually quit, and I wanna just get some reassurance I’m not bad for feeling this apathetic about a job. I am also asking if there are any things to look out for as I am looking for my next job? I don’t want to fall for this sort of looks too good to be true on paper job again…