I don't really know what else to say.
Every day I go to work, I feel like I've already been stabbed, multiple times, and every day there's just more twisting of the knives. I'm so depressed that it's embarrassing.
Sometimes I wish people knew, because maybe they would let me wait out my time until I get transferred. But I know that no one there would care. My boss tells us in individual meetings where we're criticized, that she just wants us to be happy. Then why does she not give a crap when people are wasting away in front of her?
I'm starting to doubt my intelligence. Because every day, the person in the position above mine treats me like a baby. And that I'm not even capable of doing anything correctly. Every day I feel like a waste. I used to be smart, and confident in my intelligence and ability to do my job.
And now, I just got home and I'm about to take a shower and go to sleep, until I have to muster the energy in the morning to go to a place where I feel tortured.
And I can't see myself doing this for another 50 years, just in general. I can't even really live on what I make, I'm in so much debt, already. Just get me off this ride from hell.