So, I’m sitting at work very uncomfortable and anxious right now. I’m trying not to spiral, and I’d really appreciate some feedback on my situation because I can’t tell if I’m trippin or if this is weird.
For some context, I started working at this shop because my best friend was going to open it with a former boss of his. He assured me this boss is the best, he wants me to come work with him, etc. I trust him a lot and we both are very open and honest and on the same page about things like workers rights and work-life balance.
I also wanna mention I am sober, but my significant other is currently struggling with substance dependency/addiction. I have a prescription I take for a mental health issue I have, but other than that I am clean and have been for quite some time. I’m doing my absolute best to be supportive and help everyone in any way I can.
So, this morning, I woke up late and feeling like shit, which is very out of character for me. I texted my manager (best friend) and asked him if I could come in late. He didn’t answer, so I got up and called him after a while. He said I’m running the store alone today, so I left the house fast as I could. Traffic was awful. I knew I was gonna be at least ten minutes late, which made me feel awful. I hate being late to work, it makes me feel guilty and I beat myself up about it really bad even if it’s out of my control. I tried to get to the store as fast and safely as I could. While I was driving, I was like 3 mins away from the store and the owner texted me asking if I had clocked in. I very stupidly said “it slipped my mind”. I know it was wrong because I should have told the owner I was running late and said sorry. I didn’t put much thought into it because I was frantically trying to get there and I don’t text while I drive. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal because I was just around the corner and would be clocked in within 5 mins of that exchange. I opened the store up. But I noticed it looked completely different, new furniture and products and…a camera pointed directly at the door.
A few minutes later I got a huge text from the owner saying they were disappointed, that they caught me on the camera and that I should have said I was late. That I lied about clocking in and god knows how many other times and things I’ve lied about. That I broke their trust and that I should “take a good honest look at myself and my choices.” I was mortified. I apologized immediately, explained that I reached out to my manager (best friend) and that I wasn’t feeling good. That I was embarrassed and panicked and that’s why I didn’t answer honestly about clocking in. I said I was truly sorry and that it won’t happen again.
I understand that I messed up by being late, but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it because I am human and sometimes we don’t feel good. I also am trying to be forgiving of myself for what I said about clocking in, I was panicked and I couldn’t send some huge explanation and apology while driving, my priority was getting to the store safely and quickly. I should have just said I was running late. However, I’m really deeply uncomfortable with the way my boss made it so personal, attacking my character by saying I’m dishonest and not trustworthy and that I need to do some soul searching. I understand the mistake I made, but it felt excessive and unprofessional.
I texted my best friend (manager) and he ended up telling me a BUNCH of stuff the owner has said about me to him. One of the things that irked me was that the owner expressed my clocking in and out wasn’t to their liking. Which, I understand. There’s been times I’ve accidentally forgotten to clock in, or out. It’s a new system and I’m trying to adjust to it. They keep changing the opening/closing times and schedule, too, so it’s been hard for me to get into a routine. It also frustrated me because we close at 7:00. One night, I locked the doors at 6:55 and started counting the cash. Two customers walked up and before I could even make it to the door they spun around and left. If I had made it in time, I would have let them come in, but they didn’t wait even a second for me to try to get to the door. I felt horrible when that happened. I locked the door at 6:55 because it’s a really dangerous area and I’ve always been taught to lock the doors before counting cash for safety reasons. I would have locked it at 7 but I was told I HAVE to clock out at 7 on the dot. This frustrated me because it means I either have to do all closing tasks within a literal minute of closing or I get in trouble for closing early. It doesn’t make sense to me. He then told me the owner actually went through my significant others social media and asked him if I am on drugs, which is just really hurtful and feels inappropriate. Could have asked me.
The owner called me soon after, and asked why I’m upset. I explained I understand I made a grave mistake with being late and being dishonest about it, but that I’m uncomfortable because I feel like my character was attacked and that my personal boundaries are being violated by my sobriety being questioned and my partners social media being monitored. The owner denied asking about drugs. The call was very awkward and ended quickly. I have to keep working my entire shift alone until closing.
I just feel so wildly uncomfortable right now. I’m being watched and listened to on the cameras that I didn’t even know about, as well as my partners social media being surveyed, being personally attacked and called dishonest and now implications of drug use. I feel so violated. I don’t know what to do.