I [30, gay male] was hired in a large chain company, with the promise that they will invest in my growth and help me move up to roles as they open up. I changed careers to work for this company, because I wasn't happy being an Engineer. I took a pay cut to take this job, which is similar to the role of an office assistant. I was overqualified, but they loved me and were a start up.
I worked hard, went to the office on my days off to help my team, the people I've worked with loved me and supported me. I've been nothing but kind to my coworkers. I am humble, but it wouldn't be wrong to say that I was the best at my job – because I'd go above and beyond, and deliver quality work; my coworkers would say I've raised the bar too high, and I should train the new hires. My coworkers have even asked why I haven't moved up, since I'm quite obviously ready for more challenging roles.
One day, I am given the news that I have a new supervisor – except they kept telling me there was no position open for that role until the week before. I was qualified and have shared my interest several times in getting that position. I only learn later that the role was given to my manager's friend's friend. That hurt, but I swallowed my pride enough starting from scratch, and was determined to keep working hard.
Over the next several months, my coworkers have made comments like “I don't know why you're not in your supervisor's role, because the quality of work you produce is unmatched.” My supervisor was clearly made aware of that, and began to see me as a threat.
They conspired with other female members of leadership to push me out. Things I have said were purposefully taken out of context and documented to make me look like a homophobic and sexist person. For example, during a conversation they brought up, it was said that “our industry is dominated by men and it is hard for women to compete.” My only comment was that “at least in my company, most of our leadership are women, so there's equal opportunity here.“
I was written up for saying, “Women unfairly dominate leadership roles” and that has made my leadership uncomfortable.
Another example, we had a new lesbian coworker talking about how difficult it has been to work as a minority in this field. I assured her that this company provides equal opportunity for minorities as well, and our location alone has several gay women who are successful.
That was misquoted as saying, “There are too many lesbians here.“
I've had to hear the word “mansplaining” on my shift because a coworker from a different department was critiquing my work, because I wasn't doing it the way she wanted to. I reminded her that I have received training for my role in my department, and she has not; and I'm following the book.
All of this culminated into feelings of despair, distrust in leadership and working in a hostile place. A lot more has happened over the months, but I won't get into details.
They couldn't find faults in my work and work ethic, so they went after my character. Because objective things are hard to exploit.
It was evident that there was an issue with a man being qualified for roles my boss' female friends wanted. But who would believe a man if he cries sexism? Nobody.
And so I left.