Hi there,
hopefully someone has some insights that can help me figure out how to move forward from the situation I am in. For background, I am in Oregon, an at will state.
I work for a very small consulting firm (4-5 employees depending on the season) and have always butt heads with my boss (the owner) who is a pretty manipulative, self-centered person. They constantly talk down to me, interrupt me, have blatantly ignored my concerns and on multiple occasions crossed boundaries – and have the audacity to tell me I am abusive. I had recently indicated that I am looking to move on and they assured me that they understood and I am fine until I find a new job.
Yesterday, we were working through a problem and they interrupted me multiple times while I was trying to explain my issue, so I kept starting over, trying to describe the technical problem I was having and each time they interrupted me, they said the same thing, not letting me get to the point. I finally said “you're not listening to me, please let me finish” twice, and they wouldn't. They finally offered to meet on zoom so I could show them but I made the mistake of saying “It's fine, I don't care, we can leave it as is” because I was so frustrated and didn't want to touch it. They all of a sudden started screaming at me, saying they were tired of my bullshit and abuse, and said THIS IS OVER multiple times, and then hung up leaving me with no clue as to whether or not I had a job. They didn't answer their phone when I called back so I asked via our work chat if they were firing me. They said yes, but then about a half hour later when we finally talked on the phone, they tried to reneg stating that if I needed more than two weeks (to fucking sort THEIR SHIT OUT) that was fine and they want to make sure I am ok and land on my feet. What the fuck? They also forced me to talk about our communication after I had blatantly said I was not ok with that right now (and it was after my work hours) and pushed and pushed until I just gave in and had a discussion that I did not want to have.
I spent the next several hours remaining in what felt like a permanent panic attack (I have CPTSD and this sort of situation is extremely triggering with the yelling, etc) and then had made peace with being done in two weeks and started the job hunt in earnest.
Fast forward to today where they once again back me into a conversation about my employment stating that if I am fired, I won't qualify for unemployment, and if they lay me off, they can't rehire for the position so they WON'T do that. I asked if severance was possible since it doesn't seem like unemployment is happening and they blatantly refused. They tried to express how they are just as upset as me and we're in the same positions and I told them flat out no, we are not in the same position. I am potentially not going to be able to pay for a place to live if I don't have unemployment. You are not facing that. So we need to figure this out. And then they refused to continue the conversation they started and said lets talk next week.
So….my question is what the fuck do I do? I feel manipulated, abused, and confused, and I am just sick to my stomach with fear and anxiety and dread. There is no HR so obviously I can't report the situation to anyone, and I am so scared that I will make the wrong decision and be screwed.