Hey guys! I posted on here about 1 year ago when I quit my job with no plan and I wanted to give an update. When I quit, I was looking for some kind of post like this to learn of others experiences. I thought someone might appreciate this if you are going through something similar, I wish you the best of luck.
A little backstory: I didn't have a job lined up or any idea of what to do, but I was being taken advantage of and was in a very bad place while working at my previous job both mentally and physically and decided it was time for me to get out after a few years of working there. So I quit. I had enough savings to last me throughout this time from previously working full time since I was 16 (I'm 28) and honestly it's been a great year for me.
I've spent more time with loved ones, I've tried new things, I even made some money doing various things I love (music & video games. Although not enough to pay all my bills, it was something.) I've been able to take care of my health better, drive less, meet new people and just feel happy again etc.
EVERYTHING has been positive about this, BUT that's also the worst part about this.
Having freedom to be happy and healthy and explore life untethered has been an absolute blessing, but now it's almost like a dream I had, because I have run out of savings and it's over for me. I feel like I've gone from finding true happiness to hitting a brick wall going 90 mph.
I knew my savings would run out and I knew this day was coming since the day I quit. It was a calculated risk. And I can say it was worth it. But now…
Starting next month I'm not able to pay rent or the rest of my bills, I still don't have a job and I am not able to make enough income to survive the coming weeks. I've done odd jobs, freelance, doordash, things to get me by, but it's just not working, it's not enough to survive. I am absolutely screwed with no idea where to go from here.
I am so depressed at the thought of sacrificing the freedoms and happiness and health improvements I've made during this time that it is making it impossible for me to apply or try to work somewhere because I know what I'll be giving up. I physically and mentally can't go back to being unhappy anymore. Life didn't feel worth living then. Removing myself from that situation made me realize I do want to live, just not like that…
I found what makes me happy, but knowing I must give that up again…. I've never been so depressed in my life. Even if I find a job that's tolerable, learning what true freedom and happiness is, and having to give it all up again is an unbearable weight that I just can't seem deal with any longer. It's like a switch went off in my brain and I cannot let myself sacrifice those things anymore.
The only option I truly have at this point is to apply for a low paying job that I hate, just to scrape by. And I'll be back to where I was in no time before I quit. So I haven't done that yet. I can't bring myself to do it. But I don't really see any other choice besides literally dying. And I want to live.
I don't know how I'm going to survive next month. I don't know where I'm going to end up or what will happen to me. All I know is, quitting my job and taking a year to myself has been the best thing to happen to me regardless of what happens next. Losing the health, freedom and happiness I've gained is an unbearable thought. Maybe I'll find a job that doesn't sacrifice all those things, but I haven't found one yet. And it's too late now anyways. At least too late to pay the bills next month.
If you read all this, thank you for your time and if you're going through something similar, it's not easy, but just know that you're not alone and we will always find a way to work things through. I'm going through hard times, but this is not the end.
If you have any idea of something that could help or any advice, please share your thoughts in the comments. Even if you just want to share a similar experience or story, I'd love to talk about it.
TL;DR: I quit my job and had the best year of my life. I've learned what true freedom and happiness is, but now that my savings have run out, I have no choice but to return to the lifestyle that made me so unhappy and unhealthy to begin with. Knowing what I'd be giving up is too much for me to handle now and I've never been this depressed in my life.