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Antiwork

I start a new job tomorrow after a breakdown and it’s already giving me anxiety

So, I had a breakdown last year after working in the film industry, thought I was doing better after a break, had another breakdown after dealing with more horrible, downright insane people in the industry. It's been really hard to find another job. I've been able to stay afloat by borrowing money from family, doing uber eats and task rabbit, and I start my first day “day playing” for a movie tomorrow, which basically means I just work for the day. It pays well, and I know it's only for the day, but I started getting lots of emails about information I need and it started giving me a lot of anxiety. I've been going through a lot, nervous about money, frustrated at how hard it's been to find a job despite having a degree, despite having a lot of work experience, despite great references as well. My mental health…


So, I had a breakdown last year after working in the film industry, thought I was doing better after a break, had another breakdown after dealing with more horrible, downright insane people in the industry. It's been really hard to find another job. I've been able to stay afloat by borrowing money from family, doing uber eats and task rabbit, and I start my first day “day playing” for a movie tomorrow, which basically means I just work for the day. It pays well, and I know it's only for the day, but I started getting lots of emails about information I need and it started giving me a lot of anxiety.

I've been going through a lot, nervous about money, frustrated at how hard it's been to find a job despite having a degree, despite having a lot of work experience, despite great references as well. My mental health was pretty good at the start of the year, I was just eager to work because my breakdowns, therapy, time off, and the holidays left me hurting for cash.

I think the root of my problem is that most of the bad people (there are a lot of great people too, but the bad ones are vile) are really intense, very aggressive, and very bad at communicating. That's when they start to get abusive. I understand that there is a lot of pressure, but the degree of pressure that is present is really absurd in the end. Nothing about the entertainment industry should ever warrant the behavior that goes on in it. But suddenly getting bombarded with all these texts and emails at night sent me back to the middle of my breakdown because all these people have zero work-life balance and get offended by the idea of it.

Does anyone have any advice? The only reason I'm still in the film industry is because it pays well, it seems to be the only jobs I can land now, and because I want to be a screenwriter. This is just a job for the day, and it's just for the money, but it's trudging up a lot of anxiety I thought I had already overcome.

What about other jobs, ideally ones that could keep me afloat or ones that even pay well that I could get into? I know this is the antiwork reddit but hey, I'm looking for something that can give me freedom in our current system, or at least help pay rent. And does anyone else notice how hard it is to find a job despite the “job crisis?” I got my degree from a good college, have A LOT of work experience in food and retail, as an assistant in the office, on set, with health and safety, and with the camera department, but it's just a desert in New Orleans it feels like. I've even been considering moving to Texas because my family is there, but I can't find a job nor do I have the money to move. I just feel trapped sometimes.

That said, on the days when I end up making a bit extra with all the apps and freelance remote work, the freedom to just go home at any time has done wonders for my mental health.

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