I am still very emotional about all of this so I am not going to try and be super detailed at this time. This has taken place over the past 6 months and everything has come to a head over the last two days. It is still not over but should be by Monday.
Revision: I ended going full tilt so ignore the struck line. Please let me know if I left ANY identifying information in here. I believe I have gotten it all.
tl/dr: company tried to write me up for insubordination and now they are trying desperately to retain me because of a proprietary tool that I made and only I can use.
This all started about 6 months ago when an employee I worked very closely with (CloseEmployee) suddenly put in their 2 weeks' notice. I asked if they had a new job and they told me that they did not. I accepted the reason of needing to be closer to family and let it go. A month later my boss put in their resignation. I congratulated them and say, “I hope you got that pay raise you were looking for.” He replied with, “when I told them what my price was they said, 'That's too low, here's another $10k.'” I was stunned because I had already thought what he was asking for was a significant bump based on our previous conversations.
That got me thinking about how much is what I do actually worth? After 5 more people left I decided that I had enough leverage to request promotion and/or a raise. To give you that dollar amount I have to explain one very important thing. I had created a custom actuarial tool that allowed you to import full claims histories, loss rate them without the need for historical premiums, and then models a full 3 year low, mid, and high projection of what we would expect the claims to be based on the trend. But wait, there's more! I had also built an entire rating module that could do everything the in-house rating system could do and then some. I had also built it in such a way that I could input our competitors' rates and use the tool to conduct price comparisons, seek out vulnerabilities in their rate manual, and model what their renewal business would be priced at so we could always come in lower. For the record, I have a Marketing degree so that fact alone should show you how hard I worked on this. I also did this entirely in excel… WITH NO VBA CODE! ok just a lil' VBA for a button I swear!
We started being able to rate BIG groups, millions of dollars in premiums, quickly AND accurately. They trusted it so much that they stopped using it to rate. If the suggested projected premium amount was above the mid projection with strong underwriting principles they would make the rate match in the system via discounting. Needless to say, it was valuable. The crux of this is that since it was so intricate essentially no one except myself could use it. I was the only person over 4 years that could input the claims, adjust everything, and manipulate the tool during presentations to management.
With this context in place, we can now get back to my initial question, “how much is what I do actually worth?” When it turned out to be north of $16 million in new premiums and equivalents of saved labor. I said to myself, “I think I have a really good case here. I have done so much and made the company so much money.” There are also aspects to this of being snubbed for multiple promotions and essentially forgotten by management, but I will save those for another post at another time since this is still ongoing.
In my quarterly reviews, I had always listed the position I wanted to be promoted into and had been taking courses for an industry designation as well. All of this was known or should have been known by management, especially since they were paying for the courses. So when a position opened up 4 months ago I put in my application. When I told one of the AVPs that I wanted to be in that position that just became available, they were genuinely surprised. Their excuse was that I am not their direct report, so they did not look at my quarterly reviews. I said ok sure, that's reasonable. Then when I finally got to interview for the position I was told, “You just need more time in your current position to continue learning.” I pointed out that they themselves had just promoted someone from a different department to the exact same position I was applying to now. They never learned the system and how it worked so this clearly was a lie. their reply was, “good point.” and they would not elaborate. Needless to say, I did not get the position.
At this point, I'm sure many of you would be furious. I was not, but I should have been. I should have quit right there and then after getting that kind of a reply. The interviewer may not have been within my direct report chain, but they had access to ALL of my reviews and work product. They had all of the information they needed, yet they lacked the moral compass to recognize their responsibility to me as an employer. I should have realized that they did not view me as a person who worked for them. They viewed me as something that needed to be managed; like they owned me.
By this point, I might've considered myself disgruntled. I put little effort into my work, didn't go out of my way to do things, and generally did the bare minimum. Months went by like this while my mental health slowly unraveled. I started taking my breakthrough anxiety medication almost every other day; I was having panic attacks frequently. I was not in a good place.
Then pops in my inbox for a request to set up the tool for a large group that came in. At this point, I broke down and started to cry. I couldn't handle setting anything up in the tool, I just couldn't. I had worked so hard to make it amazingly useful, yet I was seeing none of the rewards for my effort. I replied, “I am burnt out on this. Can you see if someone else can do it.” It was the end of the day so I logged off and went home.
When logged on in the morning I had gotten an email from the VP with the AVP, VP of HR, and my boss cc'd on it. I was then told by the VP that my response was “disappointing,” and that I could have handled it better. In their eyes this clearly was all my fault. I could not believe that they had the audacity say that to someone who had just told them they were burnt out. I just didn't respond. They had asked no questions and did not indicate that they wanted a response. Regardless, I did not care.
The following day a “Workload Discussion” meeting popped up on my calendar with the VP of HR and my boss included on it. I rolled my eyes and thought, “They're going to haul me in there and have a talk with me. They're going to ask if my workload was too much and that would be it.” Oh no, this wasn't to discuss my workload. This was to discuss my new on probation status due to my INSUBORDINATION! I keep saying this, but I once again was left stunned. In addition to this they led with, “We are putting you on Probation for Insubordination and because of that we will be witholding your bonus until we deem you reformed.” Now this is where I could have told them to go fuck themselves with a splitery trowel.
Luckily for y'all I knew that something would be mentioned about my dissapointing email. So I had prepared a written statement. Not only did this statement address the burnout email and how I believed it was an unwarranted reaction. I had also written two more parts that covered “why is this causing me mental anguish and burnout?” and “Issues with my job and management.” I have included these below with all identifying details removed.
Statement:
I said, “I am very burnt out on this” and suggested that someone else could help with the setting up the tool. I do not understand how this was a “disappointing” response. Why should I go to my supervisor to discuss a direct request from another supervisor when they did not send it to me through my own supervisor? No one consults My Boss on my availability or time. My Boss knows my workload best, but this is not a workload issue; I am burnt out. Every time I get a request for the tool I either cry or get close to crying. It causes me mental anguish and I do not want to be forced to put myself through that. Especially if it is for something that is not listed in my job duties or covered partially under another job duty.
Why is this causing me mental anguish and burnout?
I was one of a handful of people who submitted a Panel Project that was accepted. I spent over 800 hours developing the tool that we use on virtually all large group new business. The tool has played a big role in bringing in some of our largest groups, like BigAssGroup, and has been used in well over $14m worth of bound new business. The tool has also become indispensable for large renewals under review like EvenBiggerAssGroup. I also chased down the LargeAssGroup submission which has been quoted at over $1m. I have also brought in $300k in new business through Google AdWords (GAW) with a 500% ROI. GAW has performed so well that the budget was increased by management. I alone manage the strategy and budget for GAW without assistance from marketing.
It would have cost over $160k to make something close to what the tool does from scratch. In fact, it cost $50k just to have an actuary vet and stamp-off on it. My name is mentioned frequently by the CEO during company meetings, my agents have directly requested that I remain on their accounts, and I am given accolades regularly for my work. None of this praise has materialized in any equitable way or has been noted in any of my reviews by management.
I have never been written up or suggested for disciplinary action. (I said out loud, until now) I have always gotten raises that were above the median for performance and I have even gotten raises as high as 5%. I work well with just about everybody and I have always offered myself up for special projects and to help others. I have been taking courses towards designations as well, all approved by the VP. Despite all of this I have not experienced any inclusion in considerations for promotions, merit raises, or spot bonuses. (they do not have spot bonuses either!)
Issues with Job/Management.
Three people were promoted directly to an the Position without allowing for anyone else to apply. The Transfers & Promotions section in the Employee Handbook says, “The Company is committed to a policy of promotions from within on the basis of merit and has established a job-posting program to give all employees an opportunity to apply for positions in which they are interested and for which they are qualified.” It goes on to say, “…vacancies below senior management level are normally posted via email to Company staff and posted on the Company website.” How am I supposed to have the impression that The Company values equity and inclusion when there were three back-to-back promotions with no opportunity to apply?
I was told by an AVP/Manager, “Well now that we know you want to be in that Position,” even though I wrote that in as my major goal in 2018, 2019, and 2020. Does Management read my performance reviews? How were my career interests not known by anyone within Management? I feel as if Management has forgotten their responsibilities to me as an employee and neglected The Company's own guidelines. We were told to grow our industry knowledge, to take designation classes, to get licensed and that that would get us noticed and considered for promotions. Despite the near dozen special projects/accounts I have been on nothing like that materialized.
A different AVP/Manager said that I, “needed more time in my current role” when applying for an the Position I wanted, despite the fact someone was just promoted from a different department to the Position with no experience or training. Nothing I currently do is listed on my job description. In fact a lot of the work I currently do is above my position AND the position I have applied for.
I felt that this was a powerful statement, that I was standing up for myself and explaining the context that led me to getting burnt out. I will say it again, I was stunned by the response the head of HR gave me. They said, “In your job description it says, 'performs other duties as required.” I responded, “So you are saying that my entire work here at The Company is completely encompassed within those five words?” My existence was five words. That's crushing.
After that initial exchange they went back and forth with me and they eventually ended the discussion by telling me that I would be emailed a document to sign regarding my Insubordination, and that my status would be set as on probation. They also let me know that many people had been on probation and gotten off it, and even gotten promoted! Oh joy, another free red flag! I told them I would consider signing it after reading it. HR said by and they both disconnected. I was later that day sent the email to sign and after reading it I let my manager know that I would not be signing it and should just probably resign. He freaked out a little when I mentioned resignation; which shows how certain they were of their control over their employees. This was the first time someone had stood up to them, called them out, and did not care what they said the consequences were. My manager asked me to give him 24hrs if I was serious. I told him I would log in to work tomorrow and listen to what they had to say.
I also want to point out that the VP of HR stared at me slack faced and emotionless through my entire statement, while my voice waivered as I held back tears. Management was starting to look more and more like a Cartel of Psychopaths. They were here to use us to make them money and they did not care if we could survive on the pay, let alone invest in our own future.
The next day rolls around. I check their calendars to see if they have any meetings scheduled about me and when my next meeting would be with HR. They had a 45m meeting that was set to private; ok so they are actually going to go over the statement I made. I had sent them the text of the statement to review. They did not ask for this, I had to suggest that I send it over. The meeting starts, they use up the full 45 minutes, and then I notice that the meeting is still going and it ends up lasting nearly 2 hours. “It seems like they are actually taking it seriously.” I think to myself. Then I get a new meeting invite labeled, Workload Discussion. Nope, they got me again. At that point I knew what this would be about. They wanted to save face, lay down their authority so that I knew who was top dog, and that they would most certainly not give me what I wanted, the promotion. They couldn't give a promotion to someone that had told them no; someone that sad, “I won't take this anymore.”
Again you are lucky because at this point I did not care AND I was pissed. I realized how toxic this place was and that all of the warnings I had been given were true. So I decided to write a resignation letter in the form of a final statement. But before I get to that I need to tell you how that last meeting went prior to me reading my final statement to them.
The VP and my boss join the meeting and we exchange quick pleasantries before things begin. They start by saying, “I want to make sure everyone is on the same page, and I know there was a resignation talk yesterday, I don't know if that's the way you want to go right now, I'm not sure. . .” They left a long pause there for me to respond because they assumed I would “show my hand” just because they implied the need for an answer. I said, “I wanted to hear what you had to say first before I answered that.” So they told me.
They said that I will not have to sign anything over this incident, but that my probation would still stand and that they hope we can move past this quickly; this also meant no bonus still. They also lets me know that they had already been working on something for me. if I would have just waited it would have happened, but it can STILL happen if I play ball and agree to their terms. When I ask them for details they told me that I would no longer be working under my current position, but a lateral position that is NOT the position I had asked for and that I would get the Senior title; it would also not come with a pay raise since it was lateral. Half of my work would still be above my paygrade as nothing that I do within that job description was related to the millions of dollars in premium that I had helped bring in. I mentioned this and said that I would like to be compensated for these other things that I do and because of all of the value I have brought The Company. I was told that the people that got into the Position I wanted to had earned it and that you can't be so negative and get promoted. They had “done the work” and been rightly promoted, I had not.
I told them multiple times in previous meetings and this one that I am very happy for everyone who got the promotion and that I do not believe they were unqualified to fill it. This circular argument went on for awhile until I fully laid out my finances and how I was living over the last 5 years and how I still couldn't buy a house or anything else I wanted despite having saved nearly six-figures. Most of what I said during this conversation is covered in my Final Statement. I will come back and add any bits that I remember later that aren't covered in the Final Statement.
Final statement:
I have thoroughly enjoyed my time working for The Company over the past 5 years. I made some good friends, had some great mentors, and learned so much from all my colleagues. Although I am sad to have my employment with The Company end this way, it appears that this is the best option for me, both mentally and professionally. Before coming to The Company I was warned by multiple former employees of the work conditions here. Once I interviewed and accepted my original position, I decided that they were just disgruntled; everything seemed fine.
I started to realize something was off when CloseEmployee left in the way they did, crushed, resigned… defeated. When my boss left, I started to think back on the warnings I had been given. I asked myself, “Did I miss something? What am I not seeing here?” Then I started to review what I was doing, what my role was supposed to be, and how the compensation for what I was doing measured up; I found it extremely lacking. When I expressed my interest in being promoted to the Position I was told, “You need more time in your current role,” and then “Now that we know you want to be in that position we can work towards it!” I started to realize that management did not care about my career goals. Whether through ignorance, neglect, or managerial ineptitude the results were the same.
I reached out to some former employees and started asking them questions. What I was told surprised me. Our city releases a Median Family Income chart about every year. They use this chart to determine if you are extremely low, very low, low income, or meets cost of living standards. One of my colleagues was getting paid so little that they were considered very low income. Because of this they were able to get a 0% interest loan on property issued out by the city government. Another former employee told me their starting pay and where they ended up by the time they left. They were getting paid so little, that they were below the 50th percentile, considered Very low income, and qualified for rental assistance. They only got to the 60th percentile at the time of their departure. Despite having similar tenure (a month or two) and similar skillsets they were paid significantly less than what I currently make.
I asked myself, “How can such a successful company pay their employees so little? How could they not consider each employees situation and compensate them accordingly?” I was unable to find a reason. With our city being in the top 25 most expensive places to live in the nation and with one of the greatest scarcities of housing, I started to become upset. I was unable to make progress in my career let alone meet any of my personal life goals because the raises were insufficient. So, my options were to get a raise that broke even with inflation, get a less than 1% raise maybe, lose purchasing power due to inflation being higher than my raise, or to say something and ask for better working conditions. After talking with my boss, they took my concerns seriously and even discussed moving me into a new position yet to be named. That ended being a dead end as I did not hear anything back in well over a month.
Burnout started to set in and when I let someone know that I was burned out I was reprimanded and charged with insubordination. I was not treated like a person, I was treated like and object, a problem. When I had my meeting with HR the first thing the VP of HR brought up is that my Bonus would be withheld until they deemed me reformed. I let the VP of HR know that I do not care about my bonus at this point, I am burnt out. When I mentioned that nothing, I currently do is in my job description they said, “In the job description it says, “performs other duties as requested.’” So, my entire role and duties are encompassed by “Performs other duties as requested?” I was shocked they could say something like that to me. They showed me no empathy, just cold calculated disdain. I was a problem, not a person.
I have watched many people leave The Company over the past 6 months, I now understand why. There are pay disparities that go beyond differences in tenure. I will be leaving effective immediately under the Workers Code Quit clause for, “quitting for good cause connected with work,” which means that I have a work-related reason that would make me want to remain employed but that I feel the need to leave employment. The specific reason is that there was a “significant change in my hiring agreement,” as reinforced by the VP of HR's statement. This qualifies me for unemployment, and I hope that this will not be contested by The Company. I would also like my bonus to be paid out because my bonus reflects the quality work and my job performance in 2021, not 2022.
That final statement was only heard by my manager because the VP had to go to an appointment. I am set to meet with them Monday because they said, “just take this Friday and the weekend to cool down and let's regroup Monday.” Now after reading all of this I am sure some of you are angry on my behalf. Don't be. It is my own fault because I should have left MONTHS ago. I would even argue that it isn't managements fault either and I will tell you why.
I kept thinking and pondering wanting to know why they would treat me and my colleagues this way. I have worked with these people for five years and they are all great people. The VP truly cares when someone is having trouble or not feeling well. They would regularly give me shakes and food if they saw me working through lunch. Someone had cancer and they fronted way more PTO than they ever were required to. But I still couldn't square how they could be so nice on the outside, but when it came to me they could treat me like crap. But then it dawned on me, and it was like I had unlocked secret knowledge.
They were taught to do this… They were taught by the previous management team, and they in turn were taught by their previous management team, and so on and so on to the beginning of time***.*** They weren't being this way on purpose, this was just what they were taught. This was a learned survival instinct that companies had evolved over thousands of years doing business. Just recently technology had advanced far enough to use computers to tell us what to do, to tell us exactly where to squeeze to get more money. The technology and the math did not lie. It told them that in order to make the MOST money, you HAVE to cut costs, and the biggest cost of all is usually labor. So that's what happened, natural selection, they cut labor costs.
A lot of people think /r/latestagecapitalism is overblown, but it is real. This is our future. If something does not change hundreds of millions will suffer over the next few decades. I do not care about parties or the politics around how we get out of this. I want out. I want change. I want people to understand how manipulated they are by the money and that money controls everything. If we want to save ourselves we have to eradicate the money from influencing our quality of life. No more money in politics, no hidden donations, no generations of wealthy representative that server for 20, 30, or 40 years and pass laws that in turn make them even richer. Also, no more insider trading by the people we elected to serve in our best interests. If they have interests in corporations, they will heed those interests in addition to our interests. They should ONLY be heeding OUR interests. If there is a way to make more money, you know people will do it. The only reason they don't kill you to get there is because we have laws.
This isn't hard to do. Stop being lazy. Call your reps and be active. I am already losing so much hope and this feels like my last try at this before I just resign myself to the system. I hope this reaches a few people and that they heed my call.
Goodnight.