Currently in a masters program for writing, have a BA in English, live in a decent sized city, have a previous six months of copywriting experience, and spent months applying to over a hundred “entry level” writing positions that want 1-3 years experience (what in the actual fuck do these goons think the phrase “entry level” means?), and after not even once getting an interview and getting to the point where my wife and I can't survive unless I have some kind of income on top of student loans (she can't work because she needs a work permit, and those are backed up to Armageddon – hopefully not literally), I now work in a goddamn food cart making minimum wage. It's not really a bad gig, but my 20 year old car is about to give out and I can't afford a new one, so as soon as it goes kaput, I can't work here anymore, but even more than that, I got a degree and graduated summa cum laude. I worked my ass off because I was told that I could do something with it and my hard work would pay off. And I realize now that by virtue of the powerful people in older generations being willfully ignorant to the ways in which they've fucked everything for everyone younger than them or people without capital, they fucking lied to us. Lied through their teeth. We were promised opportunity for hard work, and when we asked for that promise to come to fruition we were told we hadn't worked enough for it. We've been gaslit that the failures of this system are our fault. I know they aren't, but knowing that doesn't make me feel any better when I feel like I'm in a meatgrinder anyway.
On top of the personal shit, the world is crumbling and burning around us, none of these US shill politicians gives two flying shits about anything except what they can reap for themselves and the ghouls that fund them. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. We were fed a line, and I think I'm either close enough the end of mine that I'm about to slip and fall into the depths, or I'm already falling into them. I feel defeated and worthless, even if I know that in this system me feeling like that is a feature and not a bug, it doesn't help.
When do we all just sit down and bring their infinite money generator for themselves to a grinding halt? We're all likely dead within 50 years anyway because of corporate and political greed. Fuck these monsters who want to blame their greed on our failures. Fuck this system and the blood-drenched, sharp toothed demons that want to ring us out like our sinew is filled with coins.
Sorry for the long winded rant, but shitting christ alive I am just so done I might as well be burnt on both sides. I guess the silver lining is after writing all this I'm almost done with my shift and it was pretty cathartic and I didn't have intrusive thoughts while writing it.