This was over four years ago. Basically, I had already gotten an offer for my current job but the start date wasn't for a month. So I thought well damn, I need something to do (I wasn't employed at the time). I ended up looking around for a bullshit job to do until then, except I wanted to do literally nothing at all and see how long I could coast.
I ended up getting some $14/hour work from home job. It was sales for one of those lawn care scam companies (sorta like TruGreen). And I really like to think I was the worst employee they had ever hired.
I ended up lasting two days. I was late both days even though it was a work-from-home job. Those two days were training and except for maybe part of the first day, I didn't participate at all. I eventually turned off my microphone and just started browsing the internet during the training. Then, I actually turned off my camera too so that it was literally just a black square with my name next to it. I swear to god, I was actually just about to watch porn while on the clock when the trainer said “Hey MasterLawlz, are you there?” and I had to scramble to the computer to turn the mic back on.
Speaking of that guy, I sorta felt bad for him except his reactions to my behavior are what made the whole experience so funny. He was really excited to hire me. He thought I was a bright, young pupil, etc. Seeing his face slowly turn from looks of endearment to passionate, burning hatred in real-time was pretty hilarious. After the second day, he called me and said “Hey, I'm gonna have to terminatcha”. He was from Wisconsin so I swear to god, he mixed “terminate” and “ya” into one word and pronounced it in the most Fargo way possible. It was hilarious. I still think about it sometimes and say terminatcha because it's so fun.
In retrospect, I kinda wish that I had acted surprised when he said he had to fire me, as if I was the best employee ever. I could have been like “What?! But I moved for this job!!” even though it was WFH. In reality, I just flatly responded “Oh okay, I'm still getting paid for today, right?” which probably pissed him off even more. I still wonder what happened behind the scenes. Like what if the guy vouched for me, said I would be their greatest employee ever, and I immediately humiliated him in front of all his superiors. I wonder if he ever thinks about me. I like to imagine that I made an impact on his life.
Sometimes I consider doing this again with other companies. As prevalent as WFH jobs are, I could probably do it with multiple jobs at a time and turn it into a video game of sorts. I should really take a week off from my current job just to do this. I could bounce from laptop to laptop trying to see how long I could last without being fired. Like some kind of weird, real-life version of Diner Dash. It's sorta like trolling on the internet but way more fun because not only do you end up really pissing people off, but they still have to legally pay you for doing it to them.