i don’t have any desire to work ever, i don’t have a dream job, i don’t dream of labour, i’d rather be dead than working at LEAST 40 hours a week, still being barely able to afford rent in a shitty flat, destroying my body and further destroying my already extremely poor mental health and for what? what am i working towards? the only thing i’d be doing by working is keeping myself alive by being just about able to afford food and rent. it’s so scary, i can’t imagine a future like that. i’m soon to start my first year of uni to do a useless degree with zero job prospects but it’s the only thing i enjoy. i have worked before, just a small cashier job, and i’d come home after a 4 hour shift and be barely able to walk the 5 mins home, i’d be writing in pain on the floor from my back and i only worked 3 days a week. i feel like i’m physically incapable of working 5/6 days a week and 8+ hour shifts. i’m not even disabled, my body just isn’t strong enough, i feel like i’ve failed before i’ve even started, i can’t live like that it’s just not worth it
edit: i’ve been thinking about it for a while and honestly i don’t really mind. i can do a lot of fun things in the next 4 years, i might as well just enjoy the time i have left and when my time runs out (when i can no longer afford to be alive) it’ll be sad and scary but i can accept it, it’ll be ok.