Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I am in my early 40s, have a MSc and live in an European country with pretty decent social services. I am someone who has, up until a few years ago, loved my job. I started straight out of college as a data analyst, which was a nice starting job. After a couple of years I got an offer to work for a government organization with a decent pay bump.
At this organization I have worked now for over 15 years and am in a senior position. I have loved my job. Mainly because I saw that work I did, impacted the care provided towards ordinary citizens. That feeling of a purpose is great to have and my former managers all loved my commitment towards the craft. Also this was the main reason I got bumped to a senior position quite fast in my early 30s.
Now as of the last 5 years, I have been trying to get a promotion to become either a manager myself or a management consultant. Basically the next logical path upwards within my organization. For me this step is important because a) my previous managers thought I'd be good at it and b) I have been doing that work already for the last 10 years, so I want to be properly compensated for it.
However three things occurred in recent years, which now makes me wonder whether or not I should stop working all together.
- I am someone with a disability (born with it) and have in all the years I have studied and worked, given 200% to compensate for my disability. Just to exceed expectations and to perform better than those who are 100% healthy, this means working harder, faster and longer. This has also caused that in recent years my health deteriorated rapidly and I am currently trying to recover from various intense medical procedures. Basically I have been burning myself up to achieve the things I wanted and I have now. Things like: house, married, kids, pets, the whole nine yards.
- Due to several internal reorganizations I recently have had various managers, who now are only promising a next move in my career and not acting on what previous managers have mentioned.
- I am known to be the “critic” within the organization, giving feedback not only to my peers but upwards towards (senior) management. Of course not just random critique, but proper feedback with well-thought-out arguments, something my previous managers really liked about me.
Combine the three together and I notice new management being hesitant to promote me because a) they don't know me that well and b) would you promote someone with a disability c) would you promote someone who gives you feedback on how you work.
This has been playing for the last few years now and has killed all my motivation to work.
As stated above, I live in a country with decent social services and I have several insurances which cover my salary when I am not able to work. Because of this I am now at a crossroad. I can stop working all together and just focus on my health, my family and perhaps my hobbies, without dropping in monthly income.
Or I could “fight back” and once I am recovered from everything I could try again with this new management or look for something new entirely (either within this big organization or elsewhere).
So dear Reddit, what would you do in my situation?
Some additional personal information:
- No there is no cure/fix for my disability.
- Doc has already said my situation is aggressive, but they are impressed I have managed so well for this long.
- There is no endgame, chances of growing old or hitting pension is slim and if I would be able to make it, the quality of life will be terrible. (But you never know what modern medicine might think up next! *fingers crossed*)
- My partner recently started working, but as it stands now, I pay for pretty much everything.
- Kids are now going to primary school.
- In my country you are protected from discrimination based on disability. But we all know that is just the law, companies will think up random reasons to not hire or promote you.
- I am also protected from termination because of health reasons, however if I am out for too long, they can “fire you” after which the government will pay you monthly a minimum income, combined with any insurance you might have (which results in your monthly income before sickness).
- Since I am born with a disability I have some additional worker protections, but I don't know them all by heart to be honest. Safe to say I do not have to worry to end up on the street. (Sorry any US readers, yes having proper social structures really do help live a better life)