I discovered how capitalism is horrible just after finishing high school (still not fully educated on it tho), and I was angry and sad about how jobs actually work in this world. I didn't really have a job while in high school so I wasn't mentally prepared for what's to come. I became a person who wants to work less and less – less hours and less days, not caring about making less money, but at least MAKING money. I loved my free time, and I told myself I don't want to work in an office job, hating the idea of 9-5, and as an introvert I didn't feel comfortable with many kinds of jobs. After telling everyone that at some point I will work (but kinda delaying it, letting the recent covid outbreak be my excuse), I started getting pressure from friends and family about getting a job, and got criticized about how much I want to work, because it's unrealistic and that “that's what everyone wants”. Which is true, and I always knew I was lazy, but now I really feel called out, maybe for a good reason.
I looked for a job, but was cautions cuz I didn't wanna waste my time working for something I don't wanna do. Tried working in a meat factory and a call centere but never stayed for more than two days. After hesitating on a bunch of offers and getting shit from friends about how I don't want to work anywhere, I realized my standards are too high, but didn't really know how to lower them… I recently ended up going to a job interview at some store. Didn't get the job but I got another offer to work for customer service but it's emails and chats and stuff, which sounds great for my introvert self, but it's still an 9-5 office job (actually 8:00-4:30). I'm thinking of working there at least for a while, just to not stay unemployed and because money is running out and my mom can't take care of me, my pets and the house by herself (we survived until recently cuz we had grandma's money after she passed, but it's gone already). I'm 19 and very unexperienced when it comes to work. I honestly feel like a bum, cuz I feel like many people here when it comes to jobs as a whole, but I'm different cuz I'm not even committing. I'm in a constant inner battle of knowing I need to go and work but feeling so lazy and afraid of losing free time in my life and also being a bad worker in general.
tl;dr I need to work real bad but I don't want almost any job cuz I personally don't want a 9-5 and to waste time on a job I hate, and I'm afraid of losing free time in my life. sounds kinda like what everyone feels but compared to others I'm really unexperienced with work.