Way back during the Toilet Paper Wars my job deemed me as “essential” for the hotel I worked at. I spent nearly the whole apocalypse doing 12 hour days 6 days a week. It got to the point where I was living there, 12 hours on shift, 12 hours crashed out in a room, 12 hours back on, etc.
That was until a few days after Christmas. My boss in all his infinite generosity gave me two days off IN A ROW! Can you believe it? How awesome is that?
It was during those two days I realized I was ready to end my life. I just couldn't do it anymore. So instead I sold nearly all my stuff, moved out of my shit box apartment, and back into my old bedroom at my parents house.
Now let me take this moment to tell you I couldn't have survived this without them. They fully understood where I was coming from and knew I needed a break. My mother has been especially supportive of me through all this and is the only reason I'm here to type this. I was lucky enough to have the help and support I needed to put myself back together.
I've recovered enough that I decided to go back to work. Mostly because I do honestly enjoy my job as a night auditor. The biggest trouble has been that most companies I've applied to have been low balling me on the hourly pay. Thanks to what I've been reading here I stopped taking whatever I could get, stopped being thankful for a pittance, and called out several interviewers for their bullshit. I got the hours I want with the pay I need.
The trouble is I'm now really nervous about going back, especially in a new city and state with a company I've never worked with before. My interview with the manager went great and they've got a great set up, but the anxiety is really messing with me. The idea of becoming trapped as “essential” again still terrifies me. I keep remembering all that surprise overtime I got because my relief decided not to show up or the boss firing them without adjusting the schedule at all. The memories of not actually leaving the property for days or weeks on end are still very fresh in my mind.
Everything is looking so good right now but I can't shake the feeling it's all going to turn into shit again.
Am I the only one facing this kind of situation? Has anyone gotten through this? Any ideas how to cope?