I've been working for almost 4 months for a company that does media monitoring. I work in the department in charge of producing reports on clients, which are usually government entities, major banks, oil companies… Needless to say, there's a lot of pressure to produce perfect and spotless work as the clients are super picky and will create an issue out of nothin.
One report we produce is called an ad hoc report that could be requested by the client at any time and usually those have very tight deadlines. I just worked on 3 consecutive ad hocs, with only 2 hours in between each one. We covered alot of news and my supervisor was rushing me, while I had no support and no one to help me out as my team tonight was essentially 2 people. I was panicking since this clien is super touchy and picky and I have recently been reprimanded for being slow. It was too much for one person. I ended up having a meltdown after my shift. I called my boyfriend crying. because the pressure was too much to handle. My job is to set up the report, do the media monitoring, and news selection.
My boyfriend said that no job is supposed to make me cry and cause me this much anxiety and I agree. But the thing is, I feel ashamed for thinking about quitting. This is my first corporate job and it was offered to me by my university instructor. I feel like I will be disappointing a lot of people. I'm already disappointed in myself. I don't want to stop making money either. There's a lot riding on me keeping this job. I thought I could make it for a year, but today was horrible and tomorrow is on a be worse. On Saturdays, I'm on call all day and if these ad hocs are gonna show up every two hours I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.
I don't know if I'm making any sense rn. I wanna quit, but I'm scared of being unemployed again. Looking for a job was hell. But this job is not for me either. I could use some support and kind words. I guess that's what I'm really looking for.