I fucking hate work. We all do hence this subreddit and I'm sure there are some people out there that enjoy working. I don't understand those people. I hate everything about it. I feel trapped, I feel like I have to pretend to be someone I'm not, I don't feel free, I feel like work dominates the majority of my life and sometimes I feel like just offing myself because the idea of dealing with shitty bosses and managers combined with having to put on a smile and pretend to be someone I'm not and pretend to be happy all the time like a robot 40+ hours a week, every week for the rest of my life with no paid vacations, no benefits, only 3 fucking sick days a year, like who gets a flu and is only sick for 3 days? Wtf! On top of dealing with being degraded while 98% of the profits I make go to my shitty boss or company while I make 2% back and am supposed to be grateful for it makes me just want to not keep living. It's like this horrible dystopia where you have 2 choices. You either play the game, where you're stuck for 8+ hours a day where all you wanna do is run to your car and drive away but you can't because you have to pay your bills and rent + put food on your table while you have no say in anything that happens, while half the time your boss makes you break the law at your expense (working off the clock, not getting paid overtime etc.) and if you get sick all your coworkers will shit talk you and so will your boss but when they're sick or need to miss work they want sympathy because for some reason in US work culture, a lot of workers seem to like to brag about how much they get fucked every day by saying things like “Well I worked while sick so so can they” or “Well I worked off the clock/worked 50+ hours this week so if I can work that many hours then so can you” and it's all just fucked. No one has any empathy for each other, you almost never get benefits and if you do, half the time you're shamed by your boss or coworkers for using your benefits like paid vacation, I swear I've been in the work for for 14 years now and I am just so fucking sick of it. I hate what work has turned me into.
When I was a teen and in my early 20s i worked a part time job and just couch surfed and partied and had tons of friends and would go to house parties every day and I had a blast. Then I got to the age where you can't really couch surf anymore and party like that anymore and I used to be such a fun and upbeat person with so many friends that I couldn't even count them all. I was the life of the party if you will. I lived life to the fullest. Fast forward 10 years and now I only lay in bed when I'm not working or doing errands, I have pretty much no friends left, I'm always in a bad mood either anxious, depressed or irritable and all I can even think of on Friday is “Ugh only 2 days then back to work again”. Work has stripped every ounce of happiness out of me and changed me into a bitter person which is so sad because I used to not be at all. But after being fucked over by coworkers, bullied by coworkers, had bosses that were assholes to bosses that were straight up fucking monsters (I worked for this one job for 5 years and my boss I swear did not have one redeeming quality. He was such a fucking piece of shit. Rich beyond belief yet would skim off our paychecks, broke like every labor law imaginable, he would throw shit at you, cuss you out etc. but I stayed for 5 years because the pay was decent for not having a college degree.) I consider going back to college and working at the same time but I'm so fucking exhausted both mentally and physically from work that the idea of going back to college just feels impossible and on top of that I know lots of people who have degrees and are now in a shitload of student loan debt and they are working at a fast food place or as a waiter or something. I feel like unless you have a doctorates in something that is very useful like a psychiatrist, psychologist, an MD, etc. then you're pretty much stuck doing shit jobs. At least as a psych you could pick your patients and just throw pills at them since that's all they can do and most of the shit hardly works according to the studies but thats the USA right? I feel like everyone is either an alcoholic, a drug addict or mentally ill or shit all of the above. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact we are practically slaves to our jobs to the point they can even call you on your day off and ask you to come in or ask you questions almost just to remind you that they own you and that we waste our entire lives working when we only have one life. I mean fuck I would do anything to just not have to work yet be able to pay my bills and be able to rent an apartment. I don't need a fancy house or car. I just want to not slave away my whole life for some company that sees me as a number and that drains me so much that even on my time off I feel just defeated.
Anyone here understand where I'm coming from? TLDR: Work feels like such a waste of life yet we're forced to do it or be homeless and I fucking hate it and it makes me beyond depressed.