Why does it seem like you have to make friends with everyone at work anymore these days? Why isn’t it enough that I am reliable, do my work efficiently, I am professional, and polite? My last job I got let go from because of “personality conflicts.” When actually I just didn’t put the company on a pedestal like they did themselves. A few of my co-workers bullied me. Their “training” was actually more like hazing. So I just kept to myself, did my work, was cordial and professional. Yet, I kept everyone at arm’s length. I was there to do a job, but I guess they wanted more. Just doing the job I was hired to do wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to jump right into the social culture. I wasn’t interested in making friends with any of them. I stood up for myself when I was pushed around. So, I was ultimately labeled as ”negative.” I‘m sorry. I thought I was hired to do insurance, not brush up on my socializing and be a punching bag.
Where I am at now is better in the sense that I am no longer getting bullied. But there is still this sense that I have to fight for my personal space. Especially when it comes to lunch. Being an introvert, and my job literally being talking to clients all day and solving their issues, I prefer to keep to myself during lunch so I can recharge. I bring food most of time. Every now and again I order delivery. But I prefer to eat alone so that when I finish eating I can read, work on my artwork, listen to music, etc. It’s my time to detach from the world for a minute. But the girls I work with want to spend lunch together every day. And, the worst part, they talk about work during their lunch. That is a MASSIVE pet peeve of mine. DO NOT talk to me about work when I am on my break! Anyway, I told them I hope they didn’t take it personal that I prefer to have lunch alone. I just need that time to myself to decompress. They said they understood completely. But they ask me EVERY DAY what I am doing for lunch. “Did you bring food?” ”Are you ordering?” “What are you having?” And if I order food and don’t ask them if they want anything, I get called ”rude.” I am not rude. I just don’t have the money to order 3 $20+ meals! Regardless of how you’re paying your part, I don’t have that kind of money to just be whisked out of my checking account at once unless it’s bills.
I am just not used to this. The last time I worked in a small office like this, it was just me and another girl. And our boss, who was there…sometimes. Her and I would chat every now and again. She was nice. We got along very well because we both had this great ability to just mind our own. When I ordered food, she didn’t feel the need to get bent out of shape if I didn’t ask her if she wanted anything. She didn’t ask me my lunch plans every day. Because, she didn’t care. And I didn’t care what her’s were either. We literally both just kept to ourselves most of the day. Did our work, got paid, and went home. Like it should be!
Nowadays it just feels like going to work and doing the job you’re paid to do isn’t enough. Simply deciding you don’t want to make friends with your co workers is ”not being a team player.” Not wanting to go to an office party on your day off is “not being a team player.” And apparently not wanting to share your lunch plans with everyone and offering to order for them too is “rude.” I am not rude. But I am also not here to make friends. I am not here to socialize. I am not here to share my lunch plans with everyone every day. I am here to do my JOB. Why isn’t that enough???
I have found that being an introvert in the workplace is rather difficult. Everyone wants to label you negatively simply because you’re a private person, or need space. They want to take it personal that you don’t warm up to them quickly. They want to take it personal that you don’t feel the need to share every nitty gritty detail of your life, your lunch plans, etc. It’s not personal. I am just very selective when it comes to getting close to people. I already have good friends and my husband. If we connect, we connect. But please stop expecting me to buddy up to you and be an open book. Not everyone is wired the same. It doesn’t mean I am rude, or mean, or don’t like you. It just means I don’t feel the need to share everything going on with me.