I entered my line of work to help people. I genuinely thought my happiness in life would come from a fulfilling career. Every job I've had since leaving college has ended the same way. I thought my current job might be different, they just fooled me longer.
I had a boss I loved and a direct supervisor I really respected. Suddenly, a corporation I was told hasn't had anyone quit saw several resignations. I wondered about that, but it didn't hit home until my boss left. She is a good, kind, lovely human being and accepted a much better position close to her home and I can't blame her for leaving. But her replacement is a nightmare.
I no longer recognize the company I started with. It's a therapeutic organization and it seems like every week a new policy is coming down that makes our services less and less person centered. We've been told to do things I don't feel comfortable with and to let people swing because it “isn't our problem”.
My new boss joined in on a supervisory meeting to discuss a plan I've been working on to fully catch up on outstanding paperwork. I thought the conversation would be collaborative and supportive, I brought notes on how the 40 hour work week hasn't allowed enough time for paperwork, that just looking at the bare math shows that the expectation isn't possible. And to reiterate that I was literally about to be caught up after having used personal time to get fully caught up.
And it happened again. The way all my other jobs ended. She full tilt screamed at me. She asked my opinion and didn't want to hear any of it. She degraded, dehumanized, and belittled me. I think the only words I got out were, “I understand”, “yes”, and “it will get done”. She threatened to skip process and fire me, questioned my work ethic and told me to reconsider my whole career. Not gonna lie, I cried. And she showed no reaction, just kept yelling. Her eyes darkened with pure hatred. This was my first one on one conversation with her. She implied that she knew I would fail and was completely unacceptable and she would relish firing me. My supervisor who was in the room too said nothing. She stormed out and that was that.
I'm caught up now, before my plan was done, I just needed a few extra hours. I'm usually working 8AM-8PM with little time for anything else. She made it clear I am not valued or wanted. It just hurts because I really had hopes this one was different, but it happened again and I feel so numb and violated.