Categories
Antiwork

I’ve finally learned something about applying for massive companies.

Companies like Capital One or other top performers often include some form of assessment that's very lengthy and difficult. After a bit of studying and taking the assessment, I was told within 30 minutes that I “failed” and would not be considered for an interview. (The assessment also takes anywhere from 45 – 90 minutes. Hope you like wasting time!) Now, I answered everything honestly and didn't answer like some idiot trying to make a point, but after much research and looking into others experiences, I can confidently say that no sane person should ever apply or work for this type of company in it's current state. It's not in favor of people who aren't corporate suck ups or robots. These assessments aren't looking to find a “good” or “acceptable” employee, they want you to fill out the perfect cookie cutter definition of what they're demanding in an employee. They…


Companies like Capital One or other top performers often include some form of assessment that's very lengthy and difficult. After a bit of studying and taking the assessment, I was told within 30 minutes that I “failed” and would not be considered for an interview. (The assessment also takes anywhere from 45 – 90 minutes. Hope you like wasting time!)

Now, I answered everything honestly and didn't answer like some idiot trying to make a point, but after much research and looking into others experiences, I can confidently say that no sane person should ever apply or work for this type of company in it's current state. It's not in favor of people who aren't corporate suck ups or robots.

These assessments aren't looking to find a “good” or “acceptable” employee, they want you to fill out the perfect cookie cutter definition of what they're demanding in an employee. They don't even fucking care about who you are as a person. If you answer anything outside the lines of the expected answers, you will fail. This includes things like willingness to work unscheduled overtime, forcing yourself to take the fall or suffer consequences for a project failing if it has other members involved, suggesting you transfer a customer to a supervisor, or even admitting you make the occasional mistake or fuck up at work. God help you if you take this assessment and have a mentality that the employee is valued and important.

They don't want humans, they want little robots to do the same fucking thing over and over again with absolutely no uniqueness or individuality. Fuck you if you want to be different or suggest something not already outlined by their ruleset. Fuck you if you want to be treated like a person. Fuck you if you want a healthy work life balance. Fuck you if you're honest and don't just lie to make it by. Especially fuck you if you can't throw away all your special qualities that make you a person and be their little guinea pig for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and every other weekend.

I thought the ability to work from home and make 17 an hour would be worth the shot, but after a bit of thinking and being denied, I'm glad I didn't get accepted and make a huge mistake. I'd have been fucking miserable droning on and on saying the same pre-written bullshit over and over.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.