Hi all,
I don't check this subreddit much (or reddit at all, but this subreddit in particular less so) because it really makes me depressed that I Can't just not work. I'm a 20 y/o neurodivergent and seriously depressed visibly trans/gnc person (and I have social anxiety as a fun bonus) and I am absolutely, desperately antiwork. Every job I've had (which is like 4 now) has made me suicidal after a month or two, if not because of the atmosphere (my first 3 were in automotive, which is decidedly not the most diverse or welcoming industry) then just because of the horrors of realizing I'll have to be a wage slave lining the pockets of some millionare the rest of my life with little to no free time (my latest job is at a warehouse, but a very diverse one at least). My parents are urging me to move out as soon as summer starts (and I desperately want to, because I am not treated well in this house anyway) and I now have to actively start worrying about if I'll be able to afford all the bills that come with apartments. I don't think therapy is really helping me with this considering the problem is societal.
I had the thought that possibly a job that makes me feel like I'm helping the community, or for a company that Doesn't want to perpetuate capitalism, or something of that nature would make me feel less like I'm wasting my life, but I'm seriously drawing a blank. I don't even know how to start looking for one. I've thought about like babysitting, or animal shelters, LGBT centers, nonprofits, etc but I really don't know much about the types of jobs that would be at those places nor if they'd pay well enough for me to stay afloat. I'm more inclined to physical or active jobs. I have a CDL-B, if that helps. I've been looking on indeed but I really haven't found much. I also would prefer something that pays decently (preferably $15+ an hour) and has flexible hours. I don't know if I can manage even 40 hours a week, frankly—at my current job I'm Barely managing 30 hours/3 days a week without breaking down on the days I am there, but I'm not sure how much of that is just lack of fulfillment/capitalist despair again or if I'm really not suited to working 40 hours a week. I also have very little energy or ability to go out and do things when I'm off work, so I don't know if I could just volunteer in my free time and feel fulfilled by that (plus social anxiety makes going out alone hard and I don't have any local friends to do things with).
I also wonder if having 2 jobs would help, just so there's some variation in my workweek, so I'm considering switching to 2 days a week at my current job and finding another (like the ones listed above) and working 2 eight hour days there. But hell if I know what would work. It all feels really despairing.
TLDR: Work under capitalism makes me suicidal, period, but I need to make money somehow so I can move out of my parents house and stay afloat. I'm wondering if a job that helps the community or something similar would make me less suicidal and need suggestions/help for places to look. I'm in Columbus, OH if that helps. I'd appreciate kind words or coping strategies for living under capitalism if no one has suggestions for jobs to look into.