Hey everyone. Been struggling with this the last couple days and thought I might ask for some advice while waiting for my therapy appointment. I tried to trim it but it’s still lengthy. Really sorry.
I’m 23 years old and graduated university last year. Took a bit of a break before applying to jobs because I worked hard in uni. Earlier this week I started my first part-time job. $12/hr, 8-4, three days a week, at the animal shelter I’ve been volunteering at for four years. I have literally been there three days, and the adjustment is much harder than expected.
Something about work is triggering my anxiety big time. I don’t know if getting up early is making me nauseous (not enough sleep or interrupted sleep tends to do this on my current meds), or if it’s plain anxiety, but it’s killing my appetite. I’m taking an anti-emetic before I go to work to try to settle my stomach enough to feel comfortable eating a granola bar or some crackers, which might be all I eat for the day. It’s demoralizing, because I’m in recovery for an ED and I stopped losing weight for the first time in two years a few months ago.
I’m coming home crying every day feeling like a failure for not being able to handle a “normal” and not very demanding job! I’m just cleaning, feeding, and medicating cats for 8 hours, but I’m exhausted even w/ 7-8 hours of sleep. And I’ve done the job for the same people in shorter bursts as a volunteer and loved it, so I’m not unfamiliar with the majority of it? Commute below ten minutes, no highways. I really thought this job would be a perfect baby step for me!
I had a fantastic interview, enjoyed the conversation, and they called me back immediately. It’s getting to the busy season and their other new hire had to quit because her living situation changed, so I’d feel terrible for them if I do quit after my first week or two. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, and I want to stay involved with the org. I’m terrified to make a decision here.
My parents are luckily able to support me and willing to do so at least until retirement next year, as long as I’m working towards something of some kind. That said, I have no clue where to go from here if I do quit because I don’t know what’s messing me up so bad. I’m in therapy and can change my medications, but do I do it with or without the job? Would WFH stunt my personal growth? How would I fit it into a career plan? I want to have a job I find decently meaningful, likable, and still have time and energy to be a person + not end up making my health worse. It’s so complicated!
TL;DR first job is giving me serious anxiety for several possible reasons, not sure if I should stick it out or quit and figure out what to try next.