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Antiwork

Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside

So, I'm currently living in VA. Marijuana is legal, but I know I'm about to lose my spot in a temp agency because I failed a drug test. Thank god for my fiance. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met, and I'm so blessed to be with her. She's been helping me get through this emotionally. This isn't the first time I've been fired, far from it. However this is the first time, where for basically the entire month of January, they were severely cutting hours, and then for the past two weeks we only worked 1 to 1.5 days for the week, where we were normally getting 40 hours. Sadly, I'm the one bringing (was) in basically the only income. (OH! Fun kicker part, if we get married, she loses her benefits because 13/hr is a livable wage?) Now what happens? I don't know. I really,…


So, I'm currently living in VA. Marijuana is legal, but I know I'm about to lose my spot in a temp agency because I failed a drug test.

Thank god for my fiance. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met, and I'm so blessed to be with her. She's been helping me get through this emotionally.

This isn't the first time I've been fired, far from it. However this is the first time, where for basically the entire month of January, they were severely cutting hours, and then for the past two weeks we only worked 1 to 1.5 days for the week, where we were normally getting 40 hours. Sadly, I'm the one bringing (was) in basically the only income. (OH! Fun kicker part, if we get married, she loses her benefits because 13/hr is a livable wage?)

Now what happens? I don't know. I really, really, really don't know. I have no money, and I have no clue what I'm going to do.

I had a shit childhood (raped and beaten by my mother, father didn't know because he had a third shift job, and was always asleep when I got home) so much of it came back up earlier because I felt like a failure. I spent most of the day in the fetal position, crying while my fiance tried very hard to consol me. I eventually just kinda blacked out, and woke up about two hours ago.

At one point this would have sent me into a suicide spiral, because I'm scared as fuck about my bills. Tomorrow (2/17/2022) I have to sell the only material possessions that have any significance to me (mtg cards mostly, and these hold some of the only few happy memories I have in my life, because it's something that me, my fiance, my brother and his wife, play and I'm already heart broken).

I fucking hate this country. I hate this complete horse shit job system that's in place. I hate so much about this place that could be solved so fucking quickly if these fucking people removed their heads from their asses.

I'm so fucking tired.

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