Employers demand two weeks notice yet they immediately terminate. Some employment agreements financially punish employees that don't give two weeks notice. (min wage, loss of tips)
“At-will” employment should go both ways.
If you're pressured into giving two weeks notice, make them regret keeping you around. Don't threaten them. It has to be their idea. Let them figure out why forcing a short-timer to work is a bad idea. Have some fun too. They can't make you miserable if you don't care.
- Start recording everything if you're in a single-party consent state. You might get lucky.
- Openly discuss compensation.
- Share with co-workers all the better things about your new job. Make stuff up if you want.
- Overshare about manager interaction in the work chat.
- Negotiate being “let go early” to negate the financial punishment for not giving two weeks notice.
- Chat up random customers and let them know how many days you have left to work.
- Commit minor infractions that take effort to enforce
- Burn popcorn in the microwave. Eat a durian. Clip your toenails in the break room.
- Leave a huge takeout container in the fridge with your boss's name on it, date it only with the day of the week.
If you want to be a bit more disruptive, try to catch some minor write-ups:
- Let your good co-workers know why you are intentionally shifting your approach to work. This is the only employee leverage to effect change.
- Fuck metrics. It no longer makes sense for you to cram an hour of work into 30 minutes.
- Use up sick days and any paid time off. Also show up and leave early due to illness.
- Remove the static shock door handle, kick down your cube wall, gut a fish on your desk, and take a printer out into a field and smash it to pieces.
- Only YOU know how to make them itch somewhere that is difficult to scratch.