It's my manager's 15 year anniversary of employment with the company. Other managers surprised him by arranging catering from a sandwich place and 3 silk cream pies from the local grocery store.
After having my sandwich I went back to get pie. I was early, the pies had been cut but only one slice had been taken from one of the pies. There was one pie spatula for all 3 pies, and it was already covered in pie. I started to just wipe it off with a napkin to go for the chocolate pie, when it clicked that the pie on the spatula was from the peanut butter pie. I saw a big problem looming that a napkin wasn't going to solve.
I asked the managers standing around me if there was only the one spatula; yes there's only one.
I tried telling them that no one should use the spatula already covered in peanut butter pie on any other pies; they didn't catch on.
When they did catch on someone shouted across the room asking if anyone is allergic to peanuts (very effective) and was disappointed when my coworker raised her hand from her desk. Oh shit maybe we did fuck this up.
(I had known she was allergic to certain nuts so was thinking largely of her but didn't remember for sure if peanuts was one, I was also just thinking it was likely someone among some maybe 30 employees was allergic to peanuts)
Person who arranged for the food told her she had to eat the one pie that hadn't been cross contaminated, the lemon; oh yeah turned out they cut the peanut butter pie and then cut the chocolate pie with the same spatula so the chocolate was already fucked.
I added that the spatula could not be used to get the pie; same person turned back to the allergic person and told her “and you have to use a fork to get it”.
I added, more clearly, NO ONE can use the spatula on the lemon pie.
She seemed to finally get it then.
This same person also said as soon as the allergic person raised her hand: “she can't be that allergic, [manager] eats peanuts all day at his desk across from hers”.
Way to fucking go.
Don't worry everyone, lemon is the allergic coworker's favorite so she still got what she wanted at least.